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Friendship Has a Distinct Formula. These Are What I Believe To Be The Basic Tenets Of Building a Relationship Anywhere With Anyone.

I traveled through many seasons of life and many locales around the world. I have sought out friendship and have had others seek friendship with me. I have avoided it and embraced it. But what I have noticed is there is a simple formula to all of it. That proximity plus repetition equals acquaintanceship but if you add the third element of shared interest you have the full recipe for friendship.

Proximity, in other words, be there with someone. If it’s a cafe, a bar, a gym, a hostel, or a spa, maybe its traveling the world. Wherever it may be, you have to be in the same locale. The ideal way to go about this, is to be in a place you enjoy thoroughly. Because it plays into the final element of friendship and that is shared interest. If you like where you’re at and you meet someone there who also enjoys it you already have two pieces of the puzzle.

Repetition, you have to continually show up. Be there and be there consistently. If you found a place you enjoy found a person there who also enjoys it there and you keep coming back to that location you can easily build acquaintances within that space. If those acquaintances have the same interests as you, you have the final piece of friendship and that is shared interest.

Shared interest is exactly what it means. Do you like the same things? Do you enjoy sports, travel or leisure? Maybe you have an acumen for chess, puzzles, or board games. Maybe you have musical alignments. Do you have families that like similar adventures? It can be literally anything. That is why it helps to meet in a place that brings you joy. So when you break it all down here is the simple formula.

Proximity + Repetition + Shared Interest = Friendship.

And the beauty of it all is when you have established a solid friendship, if any of the formula is removed for a period of time. You don’t necessarily lose the friendship since you already built the foundation. But if they are removed for a long enough period it is harder to reestablish. Or it can end it all together. So keep these ideas in mind if you are attempting to begin or end a friendship.

Life Lesson Can Be Obtained Event From The Simple Act of Fixing A Fridge.

I fixed a fridge yesterday and although that doesn’t sound like an amazing feat it feels pretty wonderful. The sweet reward of figuring out a problem and creating a remedy is one of the greatest feelings you can give yourself. Let it be known I have no prior experience fixing refrigerators. So the learning process was a reward in and of itself. This was not my fridge and the owner gave me two days to work out the problem and if it wasn’t solved he was going to buy a new fridge. Remember that point because its becomes the life lesson later on. Here was the problem. The freezer was very cold and the refrigerator portion quite warm. So I needed to troubleshoot this problem which could mean any number of things.

First I had to learn how to test all the potential failures in the system was it the compressor or condenser fan, was it the compressor coils, could it be the heating element, was it possibly the thermistors maybe even the damper. The owner had hired a technician who assumed damper so that was replaced to no avail already. Which is another great lesson often times a “professional” is just guessing and unless you check every possible scenario your just blindly throwing darts at the wall hoping to hit your intended target. Sometimes you might get lucky but most of the time you’ll miss wildly. Also don’t always take a “professional’s” opinion to be the truth.

Now I also went at the problem from a mechanical standpoint. I did visual inspections first, fans worked great coils weren’t too dirty. Then with a multimeter I began to test the heating element, no problems there. After that I moved to the thermistor, which seemed to work great. Everything I checked seemed to be in perfect working order. So then I thought to myself I need to come at the problem differently. If everything on the machine works why can’t cold air get to the refrigertor and that’s when it clicked. It has to be an air flow problem, so that’s where I turned my attention too. I thought cold air is blow up from the freezer pushed into the refrigerator. but the fridge is not allowing it to be pulled through. The system works in a flow state, cold air up from the freezer into the fridge, warm air from the fridge cycles back to the freezer below. And round and round it goes. And that’s when I found the problem. After troubleshooting for hours and coming up with blanks the problem wasn’t the fridge at all, the problem was user error. The fridge was at one point must have gotten over stuffed, creating poor airflow not enough to stop the machine from working but enough to slowly build an ice dam in the vents and as the dam grew it eventually sufficated all air flow back to the freezer. To the point the freezer would continue to over freeze while the fridge got none of the flow. All I had to do was melt the ice in the vent and it was in full working order.

This is where that beautifully poetic ironic life lesson comes into play. Too often we replace people or things because we think they need fixing or we go through the trouble of trying to fix them, to only end up still not achieving the outcome we want. But sometimes that’s not what is necessary. More often than not, they are perfect the way they are and they just need a little time to warm up and thaw out. The owner of the fridge was so close to buying and new one and had he done that. This fridge would have been unplugged and set aside. Maybe to end up in a dump or whatever but the irony of that is just sitting unplugged it would have thawed out on its own and would have been in perfect working order the next time it was plugged in. Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Which you might have never known had you not gone through the challenge of figuring it out for yourself.

Everything is fixable. It’s important to problem solve and it’s just as important to realize not all problems can be solved with the same line of thinking. You must open your mind to different forms of thought. I started out mechanical minded and ended up philosophical. However you do it enjoy the process.

How To Use A Roofing Mentality To Get Sh*t Done

So much of life can be put off to tomorrow. So we do just that. How often do we start new projects, get a little headway on them, and put them aside for another day, another month, or year? How many projects are collecting dust or just have never seen the light of day? We’ll lose motivation just as quickly as the flash of inspiration brought it about in the first place. That’s why we must apply the roofing mentality to all our life projects.

First The Work?

Recently I had the pleasure and the pain of completing roofing my own home, single-handed from start to finish. No other persons involved, just me, my own two hands and some tools. I chose to also replace all the wood sheathing on my home as well. Anyone who has ever roofed a house knows this is a pain-staking process.

First I purchased around 60 sheets of plywood. I didn’t have a truck so I rented one from home depot and had them load the wood for me. Drove it home and offloaded every sheet and returned the truck. I also bought some high-end felt. Which is an under-lament to the shingles. Now had my base in order to start. There was good weather in the forecast for the next few weeks so it was now or put it off till the next year. I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend and it was go time. Grabbed my Skilsaw and headed up to the roof. The plan was to cut between each truss and rip off the plywood and shingles in strips.

This is one of the biggest lessons of this article. From that very first cut, the second that blade just barely slices open your roof. There is no turning back, you are now at the point of no return. If you choose to put it off at that point, you are going to create more damage and more work for yourself as time progresses. So the second you start you are locked in till completion. Absolutely no other choice and as the problems arise you have to address them and work through them. Because you have to be finished before the next rains hit.

Unforeseeable Problems Often Tend To Arise

I tear off one side of my roof with little issue it takes roughly the full day to tear everything off and lift, carry and nail into place all the new sheets of plywood. I’m happy with the first day and incredibly sore. Second day manage to dump the first load of roofing material and get started tearing off on the next side.

I find much more moisture damage and sagging in the truss on this side of the house but it has to be fixed. So I buy 26 piece of lumber to sister on to each truss to plane out the roof line. I then must cut each individual piece of lumber to length and pitch and nail them in before I can replace the sheeting this whole process takes 2 days. But after 3 days I finally have plywood on both sides of the roof.

It begins lightly raining the evening of that 3rd day and I realize I don’t have the luxury to take a break yet. I need to protect the wood from rain. So I get back on the roof as night is drawing near to put felt on the roof. This is the under-lament for the shingles it’s waterproof and also acts as a temporary weather protector. At that point I could rest my body a day or two but not too long, felt is only a temporary measure. Lastly, over the course of 3 more days, I nail in each shingle, install the ridge cap, nail off drip edge, install the skylights, install the vents and flashing.

Mind you this is the first roof I have ever put on and I managed to do it without any assistance. In my opinion it came out beautifully and as far as I can tell no leaks.

What Can We Learn From This?

We are capable of far more then we know. We just need to educate ourselves and take action. But the real point is this, we need to treat the projects in our life as such as the roofs over our heads. That from the moment we start, there is absolutely no turning back. We must reach completion.

We have to create pain points around our target that tell us if we don’t complete this we will face a whole host of other much larger problems that will follow. If I don’t get that roof on before it rains first the insulation goes, then the drywall fails, and my whole ceiling caves in. Then my flooring rots, my appliances break, and so on. The roof is one of, if not the most important feature of a house. But all features of a house are important, the walls that hold up the roof, the foundation that holds the weight of the entire house. The plumbing that gives us water and disposes of our waste, the electrical and so on. Just like all projects can be important in our life. If we’re going to start them we must finish or else your own metaphorical roof can cave in on you.

Never Attach The Feelings That Came From Another Source To A Different Someone Or Something.

Most of the time we don’t even realize we are doing it. This happens a lot in broken homes. If the parent of a child now hates their own child’s father. That animosity may get redirected towards the child just by proxy. Or vise versa the feelings from your child could get redirected towards you the parent.

If you have had a bad experience in life and that person who caused it is now removed from your life. Sometimes you’ll show disdain towards the person who brought them into your life. As with some parents one may have been abusive. But since the other brought them into your life you may show those strong feelings of hate towards the one loving parent. Simply because they were the catalyst for that other person being in your life.

This is simply a transference to someone who doesn’t always deserve the strong emotions directed at them. They also probably went through the hardships and are ready to move on. In those times its best to show strength through restraint in emotive displays that might be directed at the wrong individual all together.

We may have have friends who have brought people into our lives that have upended our lives. I don’t think that friend had that intention but we might treat them that way. Isolate relationships down to what is between you and that person and treat them accordingly. Be mindful of how you interact. What is outside of that, is outside of that, leave it for those other isolations you maintain. Don’t hate your siblings because your parents sucked. Love your family, remove toxicity where it exist and the full broad spectrum of a relationship is toxic, let it go. Just don’t drag others into that pained process.

Always Fill Your Cup But Never Allow Your Cup To Be Too Full. Be A Larger Cup.

This is all metaphorical speak for don’t believe you have all the answers. Don’t shut yourself off to new thoughts and new beliefs. Don’t let your cup be too full with no space for more.

Information, ideas, thoughts, goals, dreams, habits are the elixir, you are the cup. When you reserve yourself to being full you leave yourself no space to expand nowhere to go physically emotionally mentally. You tell yourself that you have all the answers and no one and nothing left on this beautiful planet or in this beautiful planet has anything else for me. You slowly strangle and kill your life force.

I made a huge mistake recently.

I thought this exercise in writing on blowing it was to show people a direction on how to not blow it. So I tried to write these articles on howtonotblowit.com and like a dear in headlights, I was stopped dead in my tracks just waiting for impact to kill off my dreams. What I failed to recognize is what gives me the right to claim I have all the answers. I don’t, my cup is not full, I’m learning everyday just like you.

Hopefully the struggles and mistakes I make and the struggles of others on this website help you avoid the same perils. But most importantly what I took away from myself when I tried to move to how to not blow it, was my permission to fail. And that is so powerful. When you think everything has to be right and perfect, you will never start. You need to give yourself permission to fail. That is where the progress is made.

You need to not believe you have all the answers and you can’t fail, that’s delusion. Blowing it is based on failing and getting back up and trying again. Not everything you do in life is going to be a home run but that’s okay you just have to keep stepping up to the plate. I took a long break from writing these post and it was the wrong move, I will continue to blow it along side you guys. and share the experience for others to improve upon.

Two Of The Best Ways Of Lowering High Blood Pressure Without Medication.

They say high blood pressure is the silent killer. Heart disease, stroke, many fatal ailment can be directly traced back to high blood pressure. So what are some easy ways of lowering high blood pressure that don’t require medical intervention?

First Method For Lowering High Blood Pressure And Easiest.

One of the most surprising and incredibly effective ways for lowering blood pressure. As well as one of the easiest. Is to take a shot of extra virgin olive oil daily. Some of the longest living societies in the world. Areas they call blue zones. Many of which are dotted around the Mediterranean. Have olive oil as a main staple of their diet. Areas like Sicily where citizen down roughly twelve to thirteen liters of olive oil annually. Broken down, there are 33 ounces in a liter. So actually a little more then a shot a day. So maybe have a shot and add some to a salad too.

Olive oils are high in antioxidants and healthy fats such as monounsaturated fats. And like I alluded to before, it can help prevent heart disease and stroke. Lowers your risk of type 2 diabetes. Can help make the foods you eat more nutritious. Improves bone health and protects against certain cancers. Its food for your brain. Not only that but it also tremendously helps the micro flora of your gut biome flourish. The stomach is considered the second brain so healthy impacts there will influence the health and well being of the entire body. So why not have a shot for good health?

Second Method For Lowering High Blood Pressure.

Which is totally free and you can do it almost anywhere. Is to go for a run. Or simply get your heart rate up to peak levels for a period of time. Even just a mile run will have an incredible effect on blood pressure.

With just those two simple things I’ve seen blood pressure lower 30 points in a day. I used to think it was a long arduous journey to lowering blood pressure. Turns out its nowhere near as complicated as we make it out to be. Makes you question why doctors don’t subscribe olive oil first? So get that heart rate up for at least 10 minutes and get a shot of extra virgin olive oil into your system. And watch like magic as it goes to work on lowering high blood pressure.

If You Have Only Lost A Little, Don’t Resign To Going For Broke. Fight Back And Don’t Waste The Rest Of Your Time.

The most sage advice was bestowed recently by no other then a professional football player by the name of Marquise Goodwin. In his quote he said, “If you had $86,400 in your bank and someone stole $10 from you, would you get upset and throw away the remaining $86,390? Absolutely not. We have 86,400 seconds each day. Don’t let a negative 10 seconds ruin your entire day.” It’s an absolute brilliant analogy. Yet many of us hit that 10 negative seconds then decide we’re going for broke. And the entire day becomes a bust. We double down on the negativity and compound it until we’ve bankrupted our time and lost the day.

For many of us it’s starts first thing in the morning when we reach for our phones to find out what the world is doing only to disenchanted by the volume of negative headlines inundating our devices. We become reactionary and don’t even give ourselves the chance develop our mental fortitude to combat such news. We let it affect us rather then us affecting the world with our positive light. And for some of us if we lose early we lose often.

We don’t have to fall into the trap though. Don’t let negativity consume your whole day, don’t let drain the account. This happens often when trying to build new positive habits too. We miss a little and decide to bankrupt the entire mission. Some things will get in the way and rather then pick up where we left off, we simply give up on going for it.

Stop going for broke if things don’t always work out exactly how you wanted it to go. We are surrounded by challenges daily we can not let them set us off course. Just always keep in mind the account, there is still 84,390 left in it to make great.

How The Frequency We Operate Under Might Be The Cause Of Our Biases And Discrimination.

Ever feel completely in alignment within yourself or another person? You had an instant connection and you could feel it immediately. It’s a beautiful thing when it happens. I believe we all operate at different frequencies. As if our bodies are radio transmitters sending and receiving signals for others to pick up and receive. And when we harmonize frequency with another it’s magnetic, you feel the connection instantly.

But we’re not always in perfect synchronicity with the world around us. And when we aren’t, I think that can cause conflict within ourselves and the world around us. Anxiety and fear wells up and we disconnect, detach and ultimately discriminate against those not operating at the same frequency as us.

I would argue that this could be the basis for all discrimination. Of course people are different from you, but not all people that are different cause the same emotions every time. You could love and be best friends with people that look absolutely nothing like you. And at the same time be discriminate towards members of that persons family because they are on completely different wavelengths. It can happen within your own family.

All I’m saying is we protect our energy and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes when we can’t accept others having their own energy and frequency they operate at that is different from ours.

But here is the magic, we can influence and change others energy and frequency. By staying at a higher more positive level until they adapt to us. The down side of this fact is others can bring you down to their level as well if you don’t hold strong. Be aware of why and how others affect our energy but don’t let it destroy yours or cause such conflict. Be on the wavelength that others want ascend too. Always maintain the best possible frequency and bring others to your level, if they are not already there.

Never Concern Yourself By Worrying About What Privilege Another Class May Have And What You Don’t.

I can’t speak for people who feel genuinely disenfranchised. That is a state of being that we choose for ourselves. And if you have chosen it I truly do feel bad for the hurt you feel. But what I can say is if we stay steeped in such a belief it will only hold us down. Never to accomplish anything of significance because we believe that is reserved for only those who have privilege, a class we may never be a part of.

I’m a white male and I’m sure I get treated better then most others. I’m never harassed, I’m never objectified. I know I have opportunities others might not. So absolutely there are many benefits to my birth lottery. But I would argue that it was a white male who came up with the concept of white male privilege. People lack fortitude when they believe something is out of their reach. If you can beat someone psychologically before they even enter the game. You have already won and the starting whistle hasn’t even blown yet.

I’m not saying we sweep that under the rug either. But we have to understand the same goes for everyone. Not a single one of us will have the same opportunities as another. We have to strike at the ones that are available to us and create opportunities where none currently exist. And we can not accomplish that being concerned about someone else’s perceived privilege.

It’s All In Our Heads.

Most of us were never born with the proverbial silver spoon. And we can spend our lives hating the upper class for the wealth and the privilege that wealth affords them. A wealth we might not have yet. But while we do that. we’ll never take any positive action to make our lot in life better. We’ll simply be worried about whats happening with our neighbors lawn, while weeds grow tall in ours.

This becomes massively compounding when we add a problem we can not fix. A race can not change it’s race and no one changes their sex to receive the privilege.

The point here is eliminate the thought process all together. I’ve said it before if you rail against what someone is or has, you put up a barrier to ever enter into that realm. Sorry to say if you hate the wealthy, you will never be wealthy. Hate others privilege you will never receive that privilege for yourself. It’s that simple. Be genuinely happy for others successes and you will receive successes of your own.

Sometimes We Forget Our Skin Is An Organ. So We Tend To Mistreat It In That Forgetfulness.

Our skin is the biggest organ of the human body. But we treat it like an impermeable outer shell that protects the more important inner organs from most things. Our skin though is just as important and we need to remember that before we go and apply who knows what to our very permeable outer shell.

What you place on it ends up inside you. Not all of it, that is some of the protection this amazing organ has. But quite a bit of it gets through and definitely enters your blood stream and affects those other more sensitive organs. The soaps, the lotions, the sunscreens, the make-up, deodorants, disinfectants, cleaners, etc. All can get through that protective layer.

How Much Do You Pay Attention To The Ingredients In All Those Products?

Probably not at all because there has never been any cause for concern. It never seems to have any ill effects, or so we think. But those dyes and unpronounceable words most definitely enter your blood stream and unchecked over long periods of time can do irreparable damage to the insides.

Try this experiment sometime. Take a plastic bag and put some pealed garlic inside it. Now place that plastic bag over your bare foot and close around it. After a few minutes you will begin to taste garlic. Because it penetrates the skin, enters the blood stream and somehow effects flavor senses in the brain. All through the skin in your feet.

How Do We Avoid The Potential Damage?

Well you can try to eliminate all of it. Which is very difficult especially for women. No lotions, no make up, soap alternatives and deodorant alternatives. As for deodorant, it is a bit difficult to find a way to mask our body odor. But it can be accomplished with either apple cider vinegar. The vinegar smell dissipates once dry. Or food grade hydrogen peroxide. These allow you to perspire, which is part of your body’s natural toxic elimination system. We actually don’t want to eliminate sweat.

For soap find an all natural alternative. Dr. Bronners hemp unscented baby mild is a good safe alternative. You can also use it as a cleaner as well. Also distilled white vinegar and water make a good in home non toxic cleaner.

For lotion pure aloe will do the trick. Now I feel bad for women. They must at times feel almost obligated to wear make-up. I think it’s high time to let the natural beauty shine through. Maybe women could team up and agree no more make-up without judgement from others. It would give you back a lot of time and be great for your skin and health at the same time.

All in all we have to look at labels and find safe alternatives. In order to preserve and protect our bodies largest organ. Our skin.