Life Archives - Blowing It

March 6, 2020March 6, 2020

Not Proving Doubters Wrong. Avoiding Blowing It #254.

Proving Doubters Wrong Is One, If Not Thee Best Source Of Motivation.

It’s what pushes you to that next level. You hear it all the time in professional sports. Championship teams love their underdog status. They love proving doubters wrong.

Doubt me?

Okay I’m going to play better then you ever expected. My mission is to prove your assessment of my abilities was so far off base. That you will pay for such a thought. I will go so much farther then you ever thought I could. That will show you. You completely misjudged me.

This is the thought process of some of the elites among us. No one gives us more motivation then the doubters.

It’s the people that challenge us the most that push us far beyond what we might have thought we were capable of. Or we may have thought we were capable of it but just needed that little extra push.

It’s another log to fuel the fire.

Recently a basketball player who had his best night of the season. In his post game interview he thanked a tweet from someone he had never met. Because that person said it looked like he lost the fire in his eye for the game of basketball. These moments are all around us.

Use doubt as a motivator. Find someone or something anything that represents their doubt and reminds you of that fire burning inside you. And use it to just keep adding logs to that growing fire inside.

Welcome their disrespect with open arms. If someone tells you it can’t be done. That is when turn on the jets and show them it can be and you will.

Never give in to what negative beliefs others may have of you. Prove to those doubters that they just made the biggest mistake of their lives betting against you.

February 20, 2020February 20, 2020

The Momentum Diet. Avoiding Blowing It #251

The Momentum Diet Is An Idea To Focus Strictly Gradually Building Momentum.

Let’s call all diet or life change what it really is. And that is simply willing your body and mind into building momentum. The initial phase of the momentum diet is the most difficult but as you get going it gets easier and easier till you’re chugging along like a freight trains and and that point it becomes difficult to stop you.

The Momentum diet is about never breaking the chain. We have all heard the story of Jerry Seinfeld chain method. Get yourself calendar and day one when you start your change put a x through the date each consecutive day you do your intended change put another X through the date. Soon you’ll have a chain and a process.

The best way to build momentum is gradually at first. Work up to the monster goal so you don’t get overwhelmed. If you want to run a marathon and have never ran a day in your life you are not going to lace up your shoes and simply run 26.2 miles day one. You might start with one mile, then two and so and and so forth.

With a new diet you might cut out one food group first. Or you could start minimizing intake of that food group until you can fully cut it out. Maintain the plan and structure checkpoints to add a new challenge. And once you have that under control add the next, just never break the chain.

Remember it’s about building momentum don’t try to do everything at once. You don’t need cheat days if you do it gradually. Cheat days break the chain and if you tie enough of those together soon you have momentum going in the opposite direction for you.

I will say when something has taken full control of your mind as in the case with drugs and alcohol. Moderation quitting will not work. You have to commit fully to never touching the stuff again. This is your momentum it just comes with maximum force in the beginning. Know the harder the addiction the more work it will be. With that pain comes far deeper rewards.

Want to quit social media or unnecessary screen time? Set a timer. What can you limit yourself too in one day? Is it one hour, two, maybe three? Find a good starting point with a plan to continuously minimize. Many times it will feel uncomfortable at first. You’re breaking years sometimes decades of bad habits. But the best way to succeed is to focus on the momentum you are gaining.

February 13, 2020February 13, 2020

Making Excuses To Quit Before You Have Reached Your Goal. Avoiding Blowing It #248

Never Make Excuses, Just Always Compete, Never Give Up, Get And Then Keep Your Momentum.

We often toil over if we made the right decision or decisions in life. And if we should continue forward on the path we’re on. If it’s a good path but we don’t “feel it” we fire up the excuses mechanism in our brain. We might tell ourselves any number of things that we’re impostors, that it’s not the right fit, that we’ve out grown it. Sometimes it’s necessary to throw in the towel but it you have set yourself a goal and you’re still along ways away for achieving that goal. It is no time to quit. It is time to dig your heals in and work that much harder.

Kobe Bryant recently passed away. The man was an ultimate competitor, hands down. It showed in every arena he played in not just in basketball but also life. He left so many priceless gems on what it takes to compete at the highest level and one of the best I’ve seen is a text message he sent to John Antobelli another passenger and friend of Kobe who passed away along side him and his daughter in the horrifically sad helicopter crash that took 9 lives in total.

After John, a coach of a college baseball team, experienced only a two game losing streak. Kobe said to him in a text, “By all means, Feel sorry for yourself, By all means make excuses. By all means feel discouraged. By all means don’t play like this game is the most important thing to you. By all means entertain yourself with other sh*t because the game of baseball will be here forever and you will have infinite opportunities to play this game. You will [have] infinite opportunities to put on your gear, feel the glove, the ball, etc. The game of baseball will wait for you. Life will wait for you. It’s not as life can be taken away from you at any moment. Nooo that would be crazy, that would be cruel. Right? So, by all means, play the game as if [you] will have all the swings you can dream of and when the day comes when you realize baseball, that life doesn’t work that way, you will understand that the best [way] to play is by ANY MEANS necessary. By any means. No excuses. No waiting. F*ck patience. F*ck injuries and f*ck THEM. PLAY as if every at bat may be ur last because it very f*cking well could be. So let’s make every single f*cking one count. Lets go get these f*ckers!”

That is and always will be some of the best life advice one can receive. We don’t have unlimited at bats in the game of life. We have to make the opportunities count while we’re still here on this earth. Lets work to constantly work to improve, to develop ourselves because that job is never done.

This site and my writing on it has been dormant for weeks. Why, because I chose to tell myself with a name like blowing it I’m attracting that into my life. It was an excuse to stop working. To think about calling it quits. To move on to the next project before my goal for this one was finished. But it’s bull crap this site is not about blowing it. It’s about success, its about recovery, it’s about trying to get better, it’s about falling on your ass and getting right back up again. Not sitting dormant making excuses on why not to do something.

Throughout writing I have attracted so many beautiful things into my life. I’ve consistently been on a journey of self discovery. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from others as well. This site has and always will be open to all. It’s an invitation to join in that for yourself, to expand the conversation, and to not make excuses for giving up. To constantly push through failure and arrive at the success you desire on the other side.

January 7, 2020January 7, 2020

Annoyance Or Disdain For That Which You Want To Achieve. Avoiding Blowing #246

You Can Not Hold The Opposing Views Of Wanting To Achieve Something. And Then At The Same Time Have An Annoyance Or Disdain For That Same Thing.

We may not know we do it. You have to take close examination of yourself to truly see it. But every time we struggle in an area, there, bright as day you’ll see it. If we look hard enough we find annoyance or disdain for that something. And although we want it, we’ll never achieve it if we don’t correct and solve our underlying issues with it.

Take money for instance we all want more of it. But if we don’t have it, you can be assured we harbor some resentment towards it somewhere in our thoughts. Maybe it was never there when we needed it most. Maybe it caused conflict somewhere in our lives. Possibly it was the cause for your divorce or your parents divorce. The conflict we have with it needs resolving in order to get that which we want.

Do you struggle in marketing or sales? How do you feel when someone tries to sell you something. Do you look upon them with scorn? Or do you bask in the glow of there talent for persuasion?

Do you see marketing as an annoyance? An interruption to your work or enjoyment? Or do you see it as a creative art form that is so alluring and pleasing? One that needs celebrating as much as the Mona Lisa. And do you know why the Mona Lisa is one of the most famous art pieces in the world? Because of masterful marketing. For anyone who has ever blessed their eyes upon it, knows that it just might be the smallest painting throughout the entire Louvre. Yet millions of people every year flock to the museum in Paris to catch a glimpse. That is because of great marketing that has gone viral to the people. When it’s that good the guest become the evangelist over time.

But it first takes that brilliant mind that wants to help people make the best possible decision. So they market what that is to us with heart. Yet some may see marketing as an interruption. Maybe that goes back to childhood when commercials interrupted your favorite show. So you now learned over time to look at it as a nuisance, one to avoid at all cost. Then one day you want to market a product or brand that you love and feel it will help other people. But your marketing is complete garbage because you have harbored that disdain for so many years.

Look within yourself. If you are struggling in any area find that annoyance or disdain and turn the tables on it. Find a way to love the beauty in something. Look at it as an art form. Even making money can be a art form. You can even use your art to form a larger bank account. It all depends on how we look at it. Either way we can never be successful with views that oppose success.

January 5, 2020January 5, 2020

Sunday Sadness, Sunday Blues. Avoiding Blowing It #245.

Many Of Us Are Often Unpleasantly Hit By The Notion Of The Impending Work Week Ahead And Sunday Sadness Creeps In.

This is a fascinating phenomenon and it happens to a lot of people. Society is structured in such a way that our routines over time signify Monday as the beginning of the week. Back to school, back to work, back to simply being somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be. It’s no wonder over so many years of doing this automatic routine a Sunday sadness begins to creep in near the end of the day.

After you enjoyed a delightful weekend where you had the freedom to do as you choose. As Sunday hits, you’re struck by the notion it’s all coming to an end soon. And you know as the fleeting hours tick by Sunday evening, the blues are soon to set in. And you start feeling that familiar Sunday sadness. Worrying about your impending week ahead, and that control of it might not be in your hands.

How To Not Blow It With Sunday Sadness.

Each time we subscribe to this conventionality and structure set for us in life. We reinforce the possibility of this expectation. And in order to hopefully make this not become a normal event. We have to shake up the status quo every once in awhile.

If you can’t shift your week schedule, shift how your weekends look. Make Sunday your happiest day of the week. Shift your mindset, meditate on how great your week ahead will be.

If you can, change up your schedule. Do so in a way that the concern for the week ahead always falls on a different day. So your body doesn’t develop addiction to this sadness. Diffuse it through osmosis by spreading out over different days.

Find pleasurable work so you always look forward to the week ahead. Maybe in that case a Friday sadness sets because you have to leave your work that brings you joy. But I highly doubt that happens. Humans will always love their freedom and autonomy even if we only get it for two days a week.

Never take a day off. Work on that which you enjoy every single day of the week. Maybe even do it if you don’t always enjoy it. At least you’ll be building that mental strength against the desire to not doing something and the sadness that sets in because of it. Today is Sunday and I already feel better for writing these words. Maybe tomorrow I’ll treat myself with more.

December 5, 2019December 5, 2019

Not Taking Into Account Everyone Is Different. Avoiding Failure #235

Everyone Is Different In So Many Ways We Need To Avoid The One Size Fits All Solutions.

Everyone is different. Different mental wiring, different body compositions, complexions, biome, genetic make up. No two people are exactly alike. So why do we try to solve problems like everyone is the same?

Self Help

The self help guru peddling his self help porn will say do these affirmations just think it, wish it, want it, and achieve it. Which most definitely works for some. But for some it creates animosity to the life they live and if you destroy the life you have in chase of what you think you want. Only to find you were happiest where you were then you failed yourself because you didn’t truly know yourself. Just because you want something doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get it.

Body Dependence

A non drinker will say to the alcoholic just stop drinking. I can, why can’t you? We take in no account that the physiology of the two could be drastically different. While one created a dependence the other abstained and their bodies went to work in different directions. Not only the physiology but the brain wiring is completely different as well.

It’s also why no diet has the same exact effect on each person that tries it. While some may get in the best shape of their life others may feel ill and depleted.

Education

People will teach high price classes and use the success stories of a few to show that it works. They never display the people who took the class did everything exactly how it was taught and still didn’t manage to find success. If the system worked for some it’s destined to work for all right? But It’s because everyone is so different that even hidden in the subtleties of our actions hides the micro adjustments that some make and others do not. Actions that could never be perfectly duplicated.

Experience

It’s why two people walking the exact same path can see the road so vastly different. One sees a miserable hellscape, an arduous journey through perilous terrain. While the other sees a beautiful sunshiny trail through epic luscious foliage with birds chirping and happy honey bees buzzing. Not only is everyone’s environment different, the way everyone views that environment is different as well. It’s just difficult to say do this and you will achieve that.

Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs. These archetypes of massive success are wired differently then the rest. And that’s okay. Each one of them is drastically different from the other in many ways too. Maybe you’re not a titan of industry and that’s alright. But maybe you want to be that’s okay too. Hopefully you have the correct make up for it.

Embrace The Real You.

Sometimes we try as we might and our outcomes are just different from the rest. Or what we feel the rest achieved along that same path. But rather than be upset or jealous of others experiences or successes. Stop looking over your neighbors fence at there perfectly manicured lawn and just start doing whatever you want to yours. Plant a small forest, build some out buildings, add livestock. Make it exclusively yours with an individual touch only you could derive.

Just know that everyone’s journey and experience in life is unique. Rather then dwell on what you don’t have. Embrace who you truly are, find your individual strengths. Always be in search of what makes you you. Self reflect. It’s better to know oneself and cultivate that, then spend a lifetime chasing someone else’s ideal.

December 4, 2019December 4, 2019

Justifiable Inaction. Avoiding Failure #234

A Lack Of Actions Assisted By Excuses. Avoid Justifiable Inaction.

Essentially it’s just us making excuses to not do something. Absence of action can never truly be justified. Accountability will override justifiable inaction every time. Easy is making excuses not to do something. I could not for the life of me find anything to write about today. Sometimes you just can’t find fault in things. It would have been easy to say since I can’t find anything to discuss I’ll do nothing at all and go do absolutely nothing. My answer was in the possibility of inaction. Always search for answers to combat listlessness.

Being committed to a driven purpose can counter any notions of your desire for inaction. However when you have no mission you can easily flounder. Not only will you get comfortable and used to inaction but what little action you contribute will be vastly ineffective. Stay in motion and believe you are contributing and you soon will.

Another option, rather than toil away on a dead end. Would be to create new paths of action. If you can’t find an action to be accomplished in your current environment change the paradigm. If I couldn’t find anything to write about I could work on upgrading the website or work on another project all together. I could read educational material to build a mental model for future discussions.

There is an absolute endless supply of possibilities one can occupy their time with. Choose the ones that will push you forward and benefit others in the process. Laying around doing nothing is an activity but not one of any action or any benefit. Add creative thought or meditation and sitting around becomes a positive. No lack of action is quite justifiable.

December 4, 2019December 4, 2019

Elevated Stress Levels. Avoiding Failure #233.

When Tempers Increase And Stress Levels Rise. That’s The Time To Become The Calm. Decrease And Defuse Rather Than Elevate With It.

Breathe deep for this will being a trying exercise of patience. But breath work can be the strongest weapon against the rise of stress. Sometimes the hardest thing in a escalated field of this negative energy can be the come down. More often then not we tend to continue the escalation and pass it on to others who might in turn pass it on to even more. And so the chain will grow unless you decide to not give into that energy and be the strength and calm healing energy that will end the cycle and restore peaceful homeostasis to your environment.

It is not always accomplished in the environment you are currently in either. Sometimes we just need to step away, find solitude, and count our blessing. To find our happy place of gratitude. And most importantly breathe deep. If we can’t step away, focus on your breathing. Count long inhales and longer exhales.

Escape within your mind to a peaceful place. And radiate that inner world to your outer world. And watch as the wave of calm energy overtakes that which was once a heightened sense of anger fear frustration and stress wash away from others as well as yourself. The more you stay in this state the easier it will become to languish in it for longer periods of time. To the point you begin to except all stressful situations and know that you not only have the tools to keep yourself in that peaceful state but you can create a space that draws others into calm as well.

Lastly if you know a topic is triggering to you or a situation is going to increase stress related chemicals throughout your body. Avoid those topics and situations. If you find yourself up in arms about certain subjects don’t broach those subjects. Just learn to keep the peace and stay at peace. You’ll thank yourself and so will everyone else around you. You’ll become others prozac.

December 3, 2019December 3, 2019

Unwillingness To Humble Yourself In Life’s Defeats. Avoiding Failure #232.

When Life Knocks You Down, Humble Yourself. Than Get Back Either Stronger Or In A Different Capacity.

You could say Michael Jordan would never humble himself. He was the consummate champion. It would take off his winning edge. Sure that’s true when your the best. But he had to humble himself when he played baseball. He realized he would never be as great as he was in basketball and came back to the sport where he needn’t be humbled again until the end of his playing days.

When he was with the Wizards, as the sun was setting on his illustrious career he was humbled again then as well. Though I’m sure he would never admit it. But he came back and continued his competitive spirit in a different capacity. He purchased a basketball team. And the work will never be complete with that endeavor. Businesses can last much longer then the body can hold up in some cases.

Businesses, relationships, and ideas all end too. And in those instances you will need to humble yourself and pivot to a role better suited. Be it a different business, relationship, or idea all together. Or simply changing the structure of the current model you are in.

We see it in sports all the time. Its a perfect model of this in action. As a player ages and their body can no longer keep up with what their mind thinks they’re capable of. Or they refuse to adapt, as their environment changes. They will quickly be left behind without change. But those who humble themselves and assimilate into a team role they may not always think suits their talent. Will often thrive when they take out their ego and play in that new capacity.

How To Not Blow It Solution.

So if you find that you may have reached your peak, first work harder to make sure you have hit that limit. And if you find you can go no further. Humble yourself, eat a slice of that pie. Reexamine your strengths, and plan out a new strategy of attack. Then implement it with fierce dedication until success is again achieved.

December 2, 2019December 2, 2019

Passive Action. Avoiding Failure #231.

People Want Passive Income, But Income Takes Action To Generate. And Passive Action Is An Oxymoron.

Two words that fundamentally do not go together are passive action. Some things definitely take more action than others. But no matter what you do you have to put in work consistently. While there are definitely examples of work becoming more passive after massive effort. The fact remains if they stay passive they will begin the process of atrophy. Than wither and decay and eventually die.

And that is the case with all things passive. They eventually die. If you don’t continually put in effort in some way you are signing that death certificate. Be it in business or relationships or housing or your body. There can never be full passivity. So why even strive for it?

I believe this one fact is why we have such catastrophic failures in our marriages today. People often quickly switch to a passive approach to the relationship as soon as those marriage papers are signed. When the real work is supposed to be just beginning.

Same goes for the wantreprenuer businesses of today the real work begins after the idea, after it’s the business is setup. Once the clients begin coming in. That’s the time to work even harder. Its simply another relationship to cultivate and you don’t want to let it atrophy.

As a matter a fact everything we do is a relationship to something. You have a personal relationship to your body, mind, spirit, and an external relationship to the outside world around you. To people, to money, to experiences. And you can not be passive about any of it.

Progress is what the goal should be. Even when you reach that mountain top. Know that passive action didn’t get you there. Celebrate the victory but know you still need to get to the bottom alive and falling a sleep while you sled down is simply not an option. Well it is an option but good luck with that. That is a passive approach. The descent is technical and demanding it takes even more work sometimes and when you reach safety, plan for the next peak. So instead of striving to reach passivity. Strive to have the strength to except more challenges into your life. And know with each one you’ll become stronger while you fly past the passive observers.