Independence Archives

March 18, 2020March 21, 2020

Giving Too Much Power To A Provider. Avoiding Blowing It #256.

Never Give Up All Of Yourself Just Because Someone Or Something Acts As Your Provider.

If there was a handbook on abuse one of the chapters would be about being the provider. Provider equals power. I will say it is a wonderful thing to provide for the ones you love. We should always strive to do such as our gift to them. It’s a whole other thing when you do it out of manipulation.

We Rely So Much On Others Providing For Us.

How we’ll say in abusive relationships because of it or we’ll leave loving ones because they hadn’t provided enough. It’s one of the many reasons slavery lasted so long and why it still happens around the world today. If you provide someone with just enough and eliminate all other options or if options are sparse, you are able to control.

Preying on someone who thinks they have limited options is the same thing. It’s why sociopaths and psychopaths can be successful. They prey on others weakness and if you think you need someone else to take care of you they’ll sniff that out.

Bingo The Trap Is Set.

I over heard a married couple talking the other day. Playfully joking about divorce. And the wife said are you kidding me? I could never leave him. Do you think I can afford all this on my own? Referring to their lifestyle and housing. And bingo there it was. She is trapped. They are actually pretty happy together but if he really wanted to push it he could because she has already admitted she has nowhere to go. The provider sometimes creates the invisible prison that some can never escape from.

On the flip side of that many will leave those they love if they lose the provider status. Watch how fast a marriage can crumble when the provider is laid off. It’s treated as some unspoken rule. I’ll love you as long as you provide for me is the thought process. Which is another form of abuse except no one ever sees it that way. But it is this mentality of I’ll provide you with love as long as you provide me with security. It’s just as controlling. Blame tends to always fall on the financial provider yet its the love provider who does the real damage.

After basic human needs are met food, clothing and shelter what else really is there? Learn to provide that much for yourself at all times so you are never reliant on another. Own your own independence. Just remember only when you’re providing work for another should you expect a return. If you are providing for your loved ones, do it out of love, don’t always expect something in return. And always provide love without perimeters as well. Lastly don’t take advantage of someone’s good nature and generosity if they choose to be a provider.

January 16, 2019July 20, 2019

Remedial Work, A Mental Muzzle #176.

This Isn’t To Say You Can’t Think While You Do The Remedial Work. It Simply Changes The Context And Structure Of Your Thoughts.

Leaving less room for creative thought and expression. Your mind is somewhat hijacked for the 8 to 12 hours a day you spend devoted to another entity. If you have remedial work that maintains the hijack even after working hours than hopefully you love what you do. Because you have sold your mind to the highest bidder, or what you might think is your highest bidder. A company you might feel you can’t do better than what they give you. We can always do better.

The Path You Are On Could Be The Wrong Path

Be careful with mental distractions. What pulls you in one direction deters you from another. And that other path might be the one you were supposed to be on. I’ve seen it before.

Pressure to have a life you think you want may direct you towards a path you think you need to be on in order to attain this fictional existence and while your on that new path, those closest to you may have been content with the path you were on together. If your goal is to leave them behind I assure you, you will be successful.

But if your goal is to make a better life for them and you in turn spend all your life away from them, what does that accomplish? How is that a better life, if you eliminate yourself from the picture? Especially if you are working your life away in work that doesn’t stimulate you.

It’s a lose lose battle if your wasting your life working remedial jobs and than in turn while you waste away in this job your creative well runs dry.

What Is The Answer?

We need more freedom and more autonomy in the work we choose. Isn’t this the goal of work anyway. Work your entire life, pay your bills, save your income and hopefully one day you’ll get to spend the last few remaining years with a little bit of freedom and autonomy with the ones you love.

We should be allowed more of our life to enjoy it now, work needs to be restructured in a way that accommodates these things. You can only help others if you have the time, energy, focus and creativity to do so. Don’t let one employer burn you out on of all that.

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December 4, 2018July 24, 2019

Confirmation Bias #165

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear Or Read. Avoid Confirmation Bias In The Wrong Information.

Especially on this website. These articles are my developed cognitive biases. You don’t have use them to be your confirmation bias. There will always be information to either support or reject your ideas and hypothesis. Be sure to do your research learn every possible angle and make your own conclusions from the most logical deductions.

We are shaped by our cognitive biases. I believe it’s healthy to have such gifts. Nothing great, incredible, or new was every built or imagined without some form of cognitive bias.

Think Outside The Box.

You will have to go against the grain. against the status quo to bring an ambition or something that has never been done to life. It’s those without the cognition to think outside the box that become the naysayers. They will tell you that can’t be done or it’s a stupid pipe dream. These are the individuals who have myopic views of the world.

They will read articles and listen to talking heads that reinforce and support those such views and it will get them locked deeper into them. This is confirmation bias at work and it’s closed minded thinking. They are trapped by this thinking and the snare only cinches tighter.

Our Beliefs

Keep an open mind even if we believe we know we are right. Also forego telling those individuals any of your dreams, actually tell no one for that matter and just build it. I read that when you tell someone a goal or a far fledged aspiration the mind constructs that event as if it has been done and you receive the hit of dopamine when people like your idea. So much so that you feel the accolades prior to even doing anything. That action has the adverse effect and more often than not prevents you from taking any action. Why leap when you already told others about your future leap and they already congratulated you prematurely?

Options.

Feel free to be biased in ways that will keep you and our culture advancing. Crush the biases that keep you standing still or worse reverting back to negative patterns of thought and expression.

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July 4, 2018July 2, 2019

Burning A Billion Dollars In A Day (Blowing It Scenario #123).

How Do You Set Fire To A Billion Dollars In One Day.

Why you have a holiday that you celebrate by literally setting things ablaze that you purchased. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy independence day. I usually partake in the free shows though. I just can’t wrap my head around how much some people spend on fireworks. Only to do what they’re made for and that is blow them up. Hard earned income gone up in smoke in the blink of an eye.

You wouldn’t buy a new bed spread or toaster oven than take it home and immediately set fire to it. Yet every fourth of July that’s what individuals do with hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks they purchased from the local Indian reservation. Just burn there money. And how about that for irony? A majority of fireworks sales happen on reservations. Native Americans who’s land was taken from them. Help the fellow country man who took the land in the first place celebrate it’s win of the land from England. Or in other words independence from the tyranny of English rule in 1776. It’s an interesting predicament but I guess if you can’t beat them, at least make money off them.

All in all its a fun holiday and the shows are quite entertaining. If your happy spending the money on such things than who am I to stop it. Just try to be safe and have a good fourth.

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April 26, 2018June 1, 2018

Blowing It Scenario #84-Guru And Hero Worship.

Don’t Be A Follower.

Be your own guru, your own hero. Make your path righteous but not cause your told to by another individual. Do it out of your own free will. A lot of news stories have recently come out about sex cults and other gurus. Multiple documentaries about cults have been released on Netflix. A former celebrity has been recruiting sex slaves for for her cult leader. A religious guru in India was sentenced to life for having sex with a sixteen year old. This guru apparently had millions of followers. Also it should be stated, when I say be your own guru, that’s not to say start a cult either. Most leaders are one part psychopath, one part sociopath, and the rest pure narcissist. It’s all built for their own self-aggrandizement. It seems so many want to be the sheep, following the heard to the slaughter house, no questions asked along the route.

Before fully committing to anything we should be asking those tough questions. Where is this leading me? What do others stand to gain from my participation? How did this group come to be? Why do people leave? What are the negatives? What is the leaders back ground? Where did they come from? Are they pedophiles? Do they want my body for purposes beyond a helpful hand? How much money do they want from me? How much of me do they truly want? If it’s all of you, run in the other direction. Some of these cults can have very serious and disastrous endings. Heavens Gate, The people’s temple. Hundreds, and in some cases throughout history, thousands have committed suicide because their leader instructed them to. Or worse, inflicted acts of violence, maimed or killed others in the name of their leader.

Most religions are pure of heart and usually have only the highest intentions for themselves and others. They are mostly based off the same set of principles just told through a different lens. Those principle when applied can be very constructive and good for the world around you. However peace can sometimes a casualty to the greater statement of, I am right and you are wrong.

Their is absolutely nothing wrong with following a religion, you get a sense of community, of family, of love. You feel as if you have hundreds, if not thousands, and in some case millions of other people are in this with you and they all have your back. You feel closer to your god. And that, I imagine, is the exact same draw to cults. A strong sense of family, as if something was missing in your life and now you found a home in this new community. Which if you feel that is necessary in your life and you are causing no harm to others and your not neglecting true family or passing judgment on others who are not following your path, than by all means join up.

We’re taught from a very early age the system of the sheep, we’re told to stay within the lines, we play games like follow the leader. There is a very specific path and system engineered for us and we told we must follow it in order to do right by the worlds standards. A perfectly choreographed dance of, go to school, go to college, get a job, get a spouse, get a house, have kids, save money, grow old and die. Rinse and repeat. Just stay within the lines and you’ll be fine. It’s all a load of crap that we’ve all bought into. It’s funny how often you will get reprimanded by others when you don’t follow this path. Break free of this control, be your own guru to yourself. Follow your own compass, don’t give someone else that level of meaning in your life. Don’t give someone or some entity all your power. Control what you can control and be good to others.

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March 24, 2018June 1, 2018

Blowing It Scenario #55-Complete Reliance On Others.

We Have Lost Our Way, We Have Lost Self Reliance.

This day in age we rely on others for practically everything. It is this coddled era that we have excessive amounts learned helplessness. We have someone else drive our cars, make our food, buy our groceries, fix our cars, fix our homes, the list goes on and on. Heck we even rely on others to manufacture our own feelings. Love, hate, envy, are all fabricated emotions within ourselves that we believe are sourced from other people, other things. We have the ability to control all of it yet we continue to tell ourselves the falsehoods that someone or something else made me feel this way.

We tell ourselves the lie that we don’t know how to do something, so we simply don’t even try. Why learn something new when it’s so much simpler and far easier to just have someone else do it for us. What could be wrong with that option? Sure it’s the quick easy fix, void of all dependence on ones self. And maybe you’ll be able to go through life never ever having to do anything for yourself. You’ll rely on your parents to pay your bills, your app to find you love, then your significant other to make you feel your emotions, your uber drivers to get you around town. Worse yet you may simply become fully helpless, a drifter of life, never fully knowing your true potential.

The cure to it all is simply, do the work. Can you imagine how gratifying life would be if we all took a little more initiative and became more self reliant? Well stop imagining it, it is more gratifying to do things for yourself. Rip in your clothes, learn to sew, want a website, build it yourself, hole in your drywall, patch it yourself, breaks worn on your car, replace them yourself, want a new business, create it yourself. Envious of another, better yourself, forget that other, hate someone because of something “they” did to you, learn to forgive and move own. It’s all within you. We can move mountains if we set our minds to the task. When we believe we can and take the necessary actions towards the outcome, the world changes around us. When you become self reliant you quickly realize that you have always had the ability to create this new beautiful world. It was within you, and only you, all along.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.