Etiquette Archives - Blowing It

February 18, 2020February 18, 2020

Ill Reputable Individuals Ruining Bathroom Privileges For Us All. Avoiding Blowing It #250.

Leave It To A Few Bad Apples To Ruin Bathroom Privileges For Us All.

Remember growing up when bathroom privileges seemed universal. If you really had to go you could simply jump into almost any nearby store front. Use their restroom real quick and either be on your way. Or do some shopping while there.

Now you have to drive all over town asking every clerk for the right to use the bathroom and often your greeted with, “sorry we can’t let you use the bathroom. Due to excessive vandalism our bathrooms are now close to the public.” If you’re lucky, you’ll get the quote, “our bathrooms are for paying customers only,” and you simply buy something small that you didn’t really want just to use the toilet. Maybe to prove you are reputable enough to use their toilet. And to possibly offset the fraction of a cent for toilet water, a dash of soap and a sliver of paper.

Even still most bathroom locks have key codes now and some even have a magnetic buzzer system to buzz you in from the front register. Like we’re inmates to monitor. Someday we may lose all privileges all together if we don’t find a system to prevent the very small subgroup of society that thinks it’s okay to vandalize restrooms or sleep in them or use them as their own little drug den. These are public spaces that we should all do our part to respect. Before we have to start paying to enter all bathrooms.

We have to create a process that only punishes those who abuse the system and not the entire array of users. How do we do that? Some countries charge a minimal fee to use the public restroom. Which is a decent idea but still not enough to punish abusers. People could pay and still damage things. There are a number of different ideas we could come up with. Regardless we have to do something soon before we’re left to just go on the streets.

February 15, 2020February 15, 2020

Beating The Back Of A Passenger’s Seat Because They Reclined On A Flight. Avoiding Blowing It #249

It’s Frustrating, It’s Annoying, You Can Silently Rage In Your Head, But You Can Never Lay Your Hand On Another Passenger’s Seat. You Are Effectively Hitting Them In The Process.

Seats recline on planes it’s how they are built, use it. And if you weren’t allowed to recline your seat on a flight, they wouldn’t make them that way. Just like how they took the cigarette ash tray out of the seats after you could no longer smoke on planes.

But they do recline and you have every right to use that recline. If you purchased a seat on a plane you have that space. You do not own a 6 foot radius around that seat.

If you booked the back row and your seat doesn’t recline that is on you. The seats in front of you don’t have to accommodate you. They paid for their seat as well and they were fortunate enough to buy the ones that actually recline. And it’s within their right to do so.

Just because the back row can’t, doesn’t mean they rest of the plane has to sacrifice. buy a better seat if you can’t handle it. So if the back row can’t recline and they want the person in front of them not to recline does that require the row in front of them to do the same and so on and so forth. It is a flaw in design that makes it so the back row can’t recline it. The seats only recline about two inches anyway not sure why they couldn’t add that.

A lady recently video tapped a man beating the back of her seat aggressively because she chose to recline her seat. Now she is looking to press charges against the man. And I think good for her. I’m not one to support abuse of the system the claims she is making are a bit over exaggerated but he should be made an example of. You can not hit someone in the back of the seat, it is an assault. Just like if you didn’t like the back pack I was wearing and you ran and gave me a flying kick in my back pack while I was wearing it. It’s not an assault on the chair or the backpack it’s an assault on the person.

There are all these fictitious made up flight etiquette rules that no one seems to actually know. Like middle seat gets both arm rest. In my experience middle usually gets the shaft on both. Unless you take it before anyone else and never move your arms off. This no recline thing is outrageous. If you want to recline, recline. It’s about making yourself as comfortable as possible within the tight confines of the seat you paid for. Can’t stand it, buy a first class ticket.

January 3, 2020January 3, 2020

Micro Distraction. Avoiding Blowing It #243

How Often Does A Micro Distraction Throw Us Off Our Life Trajectory?

We may never truly know because we don’t know the alternative. But in some cases they can have profound affects. Each micro distraction is a mini butterfly effect within your own life. And it’s implications can grow into a hurricane in that life as it gains force.

An important conversation with a close friend or loved one gets interrupted by a phone call. Do you take the call or stay present with that friend or loved one? The choice you make can have profound implications as innocent as it may seem in the moment. This might be the distraction that eventually ends the friendship, marriage, etc. Maybe not in that moment but the wind off the butterfly’s wings will be set in motion.

Sometimes the micro distraction is just enough to send an alcoholic or a drug user back to the bottle or drug of choice. Distractions can be triggering. A micro distraction could set you off course of a masterpiece you might be working on.

Our Phones Are Micro Distraction Machines

Which often lead us down the rabbit hole. Difficult to escape once your in the labyrinth. And each micro distraction within it, can start a chain reaction. We get alerted to a text, or new deal, or a new article that needs to be read, a podcast to be listened to. Then we find ourselves wasting time watching YouTube videos of cats. I’ll even link to a video of cats, to test your resistance muscle. Try to abstain from it. Build that muscle.

The pull is strong because of our intense curiosity and need for answers. What if the phone call is more important then the conversation were already in? It almost never is, but we hold that belief constantly and it diminishes the quality of our interactions. It’s why we have to remove as many temptations as possible. Starting with our phones. Its always launching little missiles that can turn into weapons of mass destruction on our work, our life and our relationships.

It’s amazing how employers want you always at their beck and call on this little distraction machine but being connected to it always depletes the quality of work by the distracted individual.

How To Help Avoid Micro Distraction.

We need to utilize do not disturb mode or airplane mode on our phones first and foremost. Or even think about getting a Faraday pouch for it and put your phone in it when you are engrossed in other activities. So it can’t even receive a signal. Always at the very least turn off all notifications. You do not need to be alerted to a sale on bed spreads or news of a bomb strike in Yemen.

Just be aware and vigilant to the sources that are vying for your attention. And stay true to what’s important. Don’t let micro distractions, as unassuming as they are, derail you. Because the micro can easily turn into the major.

October 11, 2019October 11, 2019

Labeling Simple Explanations As Mansplaining. Failure #224

Mansplaining, A Denegrating Term Used For The Act Of A Man Giving Unsolicited Advice Usually To A Person Of The Opposite Sex.

If the “mansplaining” is unsolicited you can for sure respectfully decline their “knowledge.” Those who impose, never last long at the table anyway. However, sometimes people are just interested in learning and passing on that knowledge to others. Never to come across with an air of superiority but to simply understand the world around them better. And to hopefully assist others in learning something new along with them.

When we debase and corrupt that process, we challenge communication, and we challenge education. We say to each other don’t tell me anything I already know, and before long that becomes don’t tell me anything at all.

We Put Up Walls Because We Already Know Everything We Need To Know Right?

What man can explain anything better than the knowledge we already possess? Possibly not too many. However there may be a select few that have incredible insights that are too afraid to share because they don’t want to come off as superior and make you feel inferior. They don’t want to feel as if they’re mansplaining to you.

But that is not always the case with education. It’s often collaborative. Sure there are facts and certainties out there. Even then, wouldn’t would want to know when you are factually wrong about something?

All of the writing on this website could be considered mansplaining.

I’m a man writing explanations. But for me, I’m just trying to better understand the world around me and hopefully the conversation that grows from it will help others too. I could be wrong on a lot of things. I’d like to know when I am. And that is how we should look at an outside explanation, don’t close if off, question it. What makes their answer right to them?

You may run into the select few that like to think they are superior. But just know those men feel inferior inside. It’s a projection of self conscious impotence. Look strong to feel strong. Those gentleman may need to be treated with kid gloves as to not arouse there internal sensitivities. Agreeing with them may be you best way to avoid conflict. Those are the true mansplainers out there.