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June 28, 2019July 17, 2019

Not Journaling #200.

We All Go Through Pain, Trauma, Anxiousness, Failure, Set Backs. And For Most Of Us The Answer Is to Bottle It. Journaling Can Help.

But what if there was a way to relieve all those emotions, fears and worries? Lucky for you there is a scientifically proven strategy to help and it’s right here in front of you. Journaling or the act of writing in a journal has a profound effect on alleviating these harmful emotions. And it doesn’t have to just be a private journal you could write on a blog or a forum such as this.

This is why this site is here to help others grow and escape the shackles of emotional trauma. Also it does not necessarily have to be in writing form, if that isn’t your forte. You could speak it out in a number of ways. You could do an interview with me, you could record your voice speaking out about your troubles, you could talk to a therapist.

The Journaling Release

It’s all about getting that emotional junk that is being held up inside you out. Releasing the blockage so that you can move forward and open yourself up to new more positive emotions. It doesn’t require that you share them with others either. You could simply open a word document in your computer. Write for twenty minutes a day for a few days about what’s troubling you. And then delete it, and still receive the many benefits. Although I will say when you share it. Your struggles could vastly help other individuals that might be going through the same or similar thing.

Condensing Your Thought Into Cohesive Writing

When I first started writing on blowing it. I had no idea where it would go but I found the process tremendously therapeutic. It’s very grounding to write out your thoughts. Then to take a step back from them and examine where you stand. Often times you will see that holding on to a particular stance or emotion is no longer serving you. And it might be time to move on from it. That’s just another one of the myriad of benefits writing or speaking about your emotional strife can do for you. So let it go, release all that energy that’s binding you to pain and negative emotion. And simply start a journal today.

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June 11, 2019July 17, 2019

Inattentional Blindness Also Known As Perceptual Blindness #195.

It is where an individual fails to perceive an unexpected stimulus in plain sight. When it becomes impossible to attend to all the stimuli in a given situation, a temporary “blindness” effect can occur.

It looks as though cognitive biases seem to not allow us to perceive fact, when it’s too incomprehensible to conceive. Recently a male German nurse was convicted of 87 counts of murder. This is the number they have proof of, the actually total could be upwards of 200. That number can’t be proven due to the many postmortem cremations the hospital performed. So the question is, how did so many coworkers over the years working with this man seem to have complete blindness to his actions?

Hospitals Can Be One Of The Best Place To Exercise Tunnel Vision.

Death is commonplace within the hospital walls and I’m sure if you don’t build a tough skin to it, you won’t last long in the medical field. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to completely disregard warning signs that your coworker may be this mass murderer. Granted that is the unexpected stimuli in this scenario. The cause of the blindness, the fact that someone was actively killing off the patients and everyone failed to see it happening in plain sight. The nurse would poison patients in an attempt to show off his revival skills. Making it seem like he was very passionate about saving lives not taking them.

How Are We So Unaware And So Naive?

At what point does something arise within you, that makes you feel off and question the many red flags you may be privy too? And how is it hospitals don’t have loss ratios? There simply has to be data on how many patients perished and under who’s care for any given time frame. The patterns in data don’t lie and clearly had this been an area of focus, this man would have been caught far sooner. Maybe that is the silver lining for this action, that hospitals will take greater focus on who they’re hiring and what those hires due on a day to day basis. Making it impossible for any other to commit these kinds of acts in plain sight. They will now be attentive to the acts of others including their coworkers.

May 9, 2019July 17, 2019

Don’t Put Your Feet Up On A French Train #193.

If you forgot to read the French etiquette handbook (doesn’t exist, to my knowledge) I will enlighten you on an offense that incurs a monetary fine.

Picture riding through the gorgeous French country side. The gentle repetitive sound of your train chugging along the tracks, carrying you to your next destination. Legs weary and feet tired from the over exertion you have placed upon them to sight see through this beautiful country. As the train hums along half full of other peaceful travelers.

In the moment, you decide those tired and weary feet could use a break and since no one is sitting across from you, you think to yourself, my feet are clean let’s kick them up for a bit on this enjoyable ride. Possibly slightly rebelling against common decency in that decision.

Not too long after you get yourself into maximum comfort, your ride becomes interrupted by four train security guards demanding payment of 50 Euros for breaking train rules by placing your feet where they lay. Immediately you begin to look around for some confirmation that rules were clearly posted because you after all you are a foreigner and a guest in their country and the last thing you want to do is break the rules. But to your surprise, no rules are posted anywhere, no signs exclaiming immediate fines for lounging.

The Cost To Put Your Feet Up On A French Train

Quickly you are left with 50 euro less in your bank account, only to wonder how would I ever know that this is a punishable offense. Common sense may tell you that you should have never put your feet up in the first place. While your craving for comfort may at times override this with opposite urges. You never think it would bestow such a hefty fine upon you. But take my word for it, it does and now you know too future travelers. Keep your feet on the floor while on the trains and avoid the wrath of the train security guards.

April 22, 2019July 17, 2019

Listening To Depressing Music #192.

The Entire Spectrum Of Human Emotion Is Written Into Music And Songs.

I highly suggest avoiding the depressing songs as much as possible. As we sing along to the music it becomes somewhat of a lyrical mantra. We repeat the words and phrases of someone who maybe in a dark place. And as we sing along we can just as easily send ourselves to that dark place along side them.

Sometimes the ones who are struggling the most emotionally have the deepest most profound writing.

Art Is Beautiful.

It’s attractive at first even catchy but trust me the longer you listen the more you’re drawn in. We all somewhat tend to adopt the emotional, physical and mental state of the artist we follow. When we act that way, is it art attracting like minds or do desires attract the art? Is it the violent individual that follows violent music or does the music influence violence. Possibly a bit of both, I’m sure they fuel each others fire. Same goes for all emotions in music. Mellow music for mellow individuals. Love music for romantics.

Types Of Melancholic Music.

If you listen to artist like Kurt Cobain, Elliot Smith, Frightened Rabbit. Or any other group or singer who have taken their own lives you can hear and feel their pain. You may even begin to empathize them and begin to participate in that pain. They were all great artist but I highly recommend if you’re going to listen to them, please do so sparingly.

April 2, 2019July 17, 2019

All Of Life’s Problems Can Be Traced Back To One Simple Equation. Expectations Un-met #191.

Happiness Comes When Expectations Are Met Or Exceeded.

Every fight, every break up, every blow out, depression, unhappiness, anger sadness, frustration, everything. All negative emotions can be tied back to that simple equation. Were the expectations you placed met or exceeded? If not, chances are one of the aforementioned emotions befell upon you. And in your frustration, those around you may have payed the price.

We so often don’t see it but we nearly always have some form of expectation placed on any given situation. Child didn’t clean their room like you asked, so yell at them. Spouse didn’t take out the trash or didn’t make dinner. Anger and resentment well up. Now you’re upset with them and the more times they miss the mark on those expectations that you placed upon them the bigger the wedge is driven between you. One of the most sure fire ways to breed resentment is to place expectations on another and if you want to add an intensifier put a timeline on it. If a spouse or significant other leaves you, it’s because the expectations they had for your relationship have not been met.

Where Are Your Expectations Set?

Maybe you even set your own bar too high to begin with, and you’re scrambling to keep up. Which in turn makes you unhappy because you aren’t living up to your own expectations you set upon yourself. Many successful people are often times some of the most unhappy people because their expectation for themselves and their businesses are set so high that if they miss the mark they are a failure in their eyes. Or if they hit the mark they still feel they could have done better. Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with being driven and having high expectations. Just always keep this fact in mind, it could be leading you down a path of pain and misery. Either learn to enjoy the suffering. Or change your ways

If you do have expectations for someone else, high or low, make sure you preset those notions with them, so they can make sure they either attempt live up to them or they can depart from them entirely. Or make sure you have a plan in place in case you don’t meet others expectations. Your financial expectations might be different, your time spent together expectations could wildly out of balance. Your family expectations could not match up. Make sure you communicate these desires. Happiness is simply expectations met or exceeded.

Expecting Too Much From Others.

We all have friends or family who are never on time, always late or they just outright flake on their plans altogether. And we all have the same negative reactions towards them. Let down, upset and sometimes angered. We expect people to follow through on their word. But what if we knew some of our people were that way and we began to expect their excentricities. Those quirks, although rude would never catch us off guard or make us mad again. They would simply be meeting expectations and if they were there and on time they would be exceeding them.

Pain from a death comes from the expectation that person would be alive tomorrow. Yes you will miss them but missing anyone or anything is you expecting to see that something or someone more than you currently are. Losing what you expected to have, love, long life, family, health, friendship. Losing all or any of that can be incredibly painful if it goes away. All parents expect to have happy healthy children and when that expectation doesn’t happen it can have devastating effects on you and your family.

Lessons Learned.

However if you know that all these things are very much possibilities that can happen in life and you begin to accept and expect that. It will drastically soften the blow if anything does go awry. All in all, if you want to be happier, lower your expectations. Once you have those lower expectations, you can than go out and exceed them.

March 21, 2019July 17, 2019

Using Q-tips To Clean Your Ears #190.

It seems banal that something as basic as cleaning your ears with q-tips can have major health implications.

Recently a man was diagnosed with a life threatening skull infection. What was the culprit? Cotton fibers that had been liberated from there assumed solid q-tip. Just a minute dispense from a cotton swab. Those fibers than maintained lodging within this man’s ear, only to accumulate bacterium. In this case Pseudomonas aeruginosa, a dangerous disease-causing pathogen. Which eventually grew into an oozing cyst within this man’s skull impacting his brain and releasing a discharge through his ear canal.

Myriad Of Q-tip Related Damages

Punctured ear drums, trauma, tympanic membrane perforation, impacted earwax, infection. Just to name a few of the potential problems faced when using Q-tips.

Better Ways

Contrary to looks and aesthetics and a general overall gross factor. Ear wax is actually good. It lubricates and protects the ear canal and the ear is pretty efficient at cleaning itself. But if you absolutely feel it’s necessary to clean out earwax due to possibly obstructing your hearing. First visit a specialist. If that’s out of your price range, try a finger. They’re too big to dig deep and cause damage and can remove the surface wax. If that’s not enough you could use hydrogen peroxide or Olive oil or ear wax drops. Each will clean out the ear canal with a few drops and won’t go past the protective barriers.

All in all there are better more effective ways out there to clean the ears, that don’t have as much potential to cause damage. The man at the beginning of the story ended up recovering but not until having the cotton fiber bacteria growth medium removed from his ear and eight weeks of antibiotics.

March 12, 2019July 17, 2019

Never Throw A Rock Over An Overpass #187.

A woman sitting in the passenger seat of her vehicle. Was killed in Texas on Saturday from a rock flying through her windshield. While her and her family were driving home along the highway.

The rock was thrown from an overpass. This one should be a no-brainer. Who in the right mind throws a rock over a highway overpass? Maybe you don’t think it will hurt anyone or go through a windshield but even still what would be the point of throwing a rock over an overpass? Unless you were trying to injure someone. Or if you were just trying to do some destruction. Either way it’s 1000% the wrong move.

Now this 33 year old mother of three will never be around to raise her children. Those kids lost their mother right in front of their eyes and for what? was it a prank a joke did they not intend to harm anyone?

An Avoidable Accident.

It’s a very avoidable circumstance, a failure that should never happened. Maybe it was wrong place at the wrong time. But if you’re just driving home on the highway you shouldn’t have to worry about projectiles exploding through your windshield. That’s not the wrong place that’s someone who is making a terrible decision. Rocks simply shouldn’t fall from the sky and crash through your windshield.

I hope this individual comes forward and apologizes even though no amount of apologies can take back the damage that’s been done. They will also need to serve time for their crime. Because this is essentially a homicide. Maybe it’s also time we improve car windshields. Possibly make them with a clear plastic.

March 8, 2019July 17, 2019

Glorifying Fame To The Point Of Turning A Blind Eye To Criminal Activity. Michael Jackson Was A Predator #185.

We All Knew Michael Jackson Had Mental Issues, It Was Written On His Face. And We All Knew He Was A Predator, It Was Written In His Actions.

Take the weak, the poor, the youthful ignorance, those who hero worship, and then abuse them because they have no power to contest those claims. That’s what Michael Jackson did. Than take the successful children of entertainment put them under your wing and help them navigate fame, never abuse those with power and you’ll turn those children into your evangelist. Singing your praises. And those will be the voices heard. Than if ever someone comes forward with abuse allegations pay a kings ransom to keep that voice silent. Till you pass one day and no one can keep up with the ransom or the lie.

Abused Children Finally Coming Forward.

I think it’s great that these people are finally allowed to come forward. Even though they still face a heavy head wind from the worshipers. Those who would rather remain blind and ignorant, can’t silence the truth.

The man was a bold face liar. Asked if he ever had plastic surgery he would deny it. Ask if he ever abused children, he’d say no that’s ridiculous. It’s really a sad tale. A child of abuse often continues the abuse. Maybe not in the same methods that they were abused in but it happens often. It’s never an excuse and the cycle must be broken. Sadly Michael Jackson never had a normal childhood or normal life. He was raised on a pedestal and clearly abused that power. I’m sure he suffered thoroughly throughout that life but it is never an excuse to prey upon children. The truth is finally set free for the world to judge it just took far too long to get there.

February 26, 2019July 17, 2019

Legality Of Soliciting Sex #184.

Is Paying For Sex A Morality Law Or Is It A Financial Law?

Early this week it was discovered that Robert Kraft the owner of the New England Patriots allegedly engaged and paid for sex acts at an illegal prostitution spa in Florida. Part of a month long investigation led by the police. They caught him on video tape engaging in these acts. Now if were him I would take full ownership of my actions. I’d tell the world yes I did it, I’m a 77 year old widower who doesn’t have much time left on Earth I have a lot of money, which means most of my relationships are superficial. I just want the comfort of a woman without her wanting anything more from me. I don’t condone his actions but I do question why they have to be illegal.

People Need Touch.

It is my hope that it is a law designed to help people. Maybe save them from their own moral failings, if you can even call it that. I’m not sure soliciting sex is a failing. Just society deems it so. People need love, intimacy, connection, and touch. Some don’t come across that as easily as others. So what is the problem if they come across a fabricated sense of those things. And so what if they have pay for it to achieve it. Some maybe handicapped in some way, be it age, body or mind, that keeps them from expericing another or even joining the dating pool. Why can’t they pay for what they can’t achieve through honest effort?

Dates Cost Money.

No matter what people have to pay for dates in order to woo the opposite sex. How are these “gifts” any different, if at the end of the date you receive pleasure in the form of physical touch?

There is a flip side to all of it, the safety and well being of the sex workers themselves. You could claim that is what the law is there to protect them. Not concerned just with the hidden transactions which circumvent the government.

Why Not Legalize It?

However anything illegal is only going to attract criminals. They will run the industry while workers get exploited. You have desperate individuals easily manipulated by these criminals to be forced into sex traffic. However with a well regulated industry operating by the books you would put an end to the criminal activity and only licensed practitioners would essentially be allowed to operate. And just like what happened with the marijuana industry. Criminal enterprises would falter. Criminals find it difficult to operate or grow when you take away their best weapon, legality. All in all it should a choice from both sides if you want to participate in these activities or not, free from lawful intervention.

February 12, 2019July 17, 2019

Avoiding Boredom #183.

Welcome Boredom, Embrace The Suck Of Life And Be Rewarded.

All to often we will do anything within our capabilities in order to avoid getting bored, it’s boredom avoidance. And it’s a system that is made all to easy to fall into. By constant entertainment that is always within arms reach. All we need to do is press our hands in to our pockets or purses. To find that little miracle entertainment machine we call a smart phone.

Our Boredom Avoidance.

Bored in line, grab the smart phone. Bored at the dinner table, grab the smart phone. Or if you’re bored in conversation, you guessed it, smart phone saves the day again. Heck even when we get bored with digital entertainment we’ll grab a different digital device to entertain us from entertainment. This is not to say it’s wrong to use these devices. The point I’m making is it’s far too easy to escape. And when we have such easy access to make these escapes. We tend to choose them over almost all other things boredom especially. But boredom is where progress is made.

Why We Embrace The Boredom.

Writing is not necessarily always stimulating but the more I do it, the more I progress in the discipline. And with those progressions the better I get and hopefully the more people I might reach. Within that reach, maybe these words affect other individuals in a positive way. It’s the same for all disciplines, all growth, all work.

Like the coder who stays up late in front of the computer. Or the football player practicing foot work and timing or the perfect spiral. Each line of code, each pass of the football may become monotonous and mundane. But if you can become repetitious and comfortable in that mode. Where you can accept and embrace the boredom of it all. As well as the times where it just plain sucks, you have the potential to become great. So be bored and find a way to love it because great things can happen in that realm. Progress is boring sometimes, celebrate that fact.