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August 21, 2019September 4, 2019

Measure What Matters #215.

The Only Way To Make True Progress And Improve Is To Measure What Matters.

In knowing how to get to where you want to go. You must first know where you’ve been and where you are currently. In order to improve and get better you have to measure what matters. To measure the controllables of any given situation with the intention to improve upon them.

If you are an elite athlete you know this concept all to well. Timed races, sleep measurement, dietary effects, optimal heart rates, peak designed uniforms, oxygen intake, muscle mass. The list goes on and on. Each measurement indicative of areas that may be improved upon. But it doesn’t have to be just the elite athlete.

Measure What Matters In Your Relationships.

If you want to improve your relationships. You could think of ways to measure the controllables that you want to improve upon. For instance you and your significant other could have weekly sliding scales. Give each other a one to ten based on factors you deem important to your relationship. Maybe it’s communication, intimacy, and attention, to name a few. At the end of the week you could give each other a score and discuss ways in which you could improve upon those scores. Where you went right as well as where you went wrong.

Time Is The Ultimate Measuring Tool.

How fast you can achieve a goal is still the best form of measurement. How fast did you get your work finished? Did you perform well at that speed or did you need to take more time fixing and editing? Did you create more measurable problems to fix in that time frame? The goal is to achieve quality in a timely fashion.

Peer To Peer Measurement.

We still have many other tools at our disposal. For the aspiring chef its taste. Are your dishes being met with approval. Approval by peers is another major measurement that can be used to improve upon.

But this system is sometimes flawed. If an anonymous person behind a machine gives you a negative review. You have no complete way of telling where specifically you went wrong with this nameless faceless review. Unless they indicate it specifically. Also another slight problem with peer to peer reviews is that there could be a myriad of other uncontrollable factors that could be contributing to their decision. One’s that you don’t know about. Maybe they were having a bad day, maybe the weather or the commute threw them off. This is where volume is our friend, the more reviews the more accurate the measurement. But don’t neglect those one off negative reviews. Because negative reviews are some of the best measurements lessons on improvement.

Measure The Body And Mind.

Want better health? Measure it. It’s quite simple. First pay attention to what your body is telling you. If it’s in pain or you are in poor mental states something you are doing to it is off. Be it dietary or recreational. The best way to change is to measure what matters. Get a step counter, a heart rate monitor, a sleep monitor. Get your blood pressure checked, test your blood. Watch the changes when certain things you ingest change your body’s composition and how it functions. Measure your heart rates for optimal workouts and than measure that against how good you feel.

It’s all about improvement. We can always improve when we establish a base line to progress from. Otherwise we have no clue what to improve upon. We could just be aimlessly shooting at a moving target. No goals and no way of knowing if we’re getting any closer. Measure what matters and be witness to your life improving around you.

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August 17, 2019September 4, 2019

All Or Nothing #214.

All Or Nothing Is A Win Big Or Lose Big Premonition. More So Landing On The Latter.

If you don’t win big, you lose big and there is no avoiding it. When you go in for all or nothing. You literally have one of two option. It’s the idea of either or. Either I win this or I lose this all.

Life shouldn’t be a game of choosing between the two. However, it’s some people’s way of coping. We will decide that if we can’t get everything we want out of a situation. We want nothing to do with that situation. Even if what we’re getting in return is still good. It’s not quite all so we’ll throw it out with the emotional garbage.

It’s the gambler junkie mentality, bet the house and hope to win. If not, we don’t go home because we just lost it to bankruptcy. I believe what would serve us best is replacing the “or” with “and.” I either get this “and” I also get that. Find a way to balance in order to can get a little bit of all and a little bit of nothing. Sure it won’t quite be all that you want but it isn’t quite nothing either.

The Finality Of It All.

The finality of all or nothing leaves you with no other options to build off of. If you can accept re-balancing, you can continue to build. Maybe it’s not quite all of what you originally wanted in the immediate. But at least you still have a foundation work around. Maybe the future house will look a little different when you finally arrive at it. But at you didn’t bulldoze it early on because it wasn’t to your exact specs.

Let’s have our cake “and” eat it too. I know now if someone ever tells me they have an all or nothing mentality. That I’m walking away and leaving that situation at the nothing. Because when you receive all you never want to return to nothing. But sometimes you end up right back where you started, with nothing. Especially if they don’t reach their all or nothing goals.

Try to be adaptable, grow with the important people in your life. Grow with your goals. Accept that some people can’t always be all that you need. But if they’re important to you, take what you can get. And who knows you might still get to where you want to be or some alternative similar. Don’t relegate people and goals to nothingness. Because when you do you diminish the effort it took to try to reach the all down to nothing.

August 12, 2019August 15, 2019

Toxic Algae Blooms And Pets #213

More Importantly, Don’t Let Your Dogs Swim In Water With Toxic Algae Blooms.

A lady in North Carolina lost all three of her dogs within hours of letting them cool off in a near by pond. The culprit, liver failure from cyanobacteria due to toxic algae blooms. Blue-green Algae is the most common to cause this reaction. There is no cure for this poisoning so avoidance is paramount.

How would any well-intentioned pet owner know, not to let their dog cool off in a pond? Dogs eat way worse than pond water and come out just fine. And without any warning signs your left to just make judgment calls. But here are some red flags. If the weather has been unseasonably warm and the body of water is completely stagnant. This is the ideal breading ground for toxic algae blooms.

What Are Some Alternatives.

Even if the dogs don’t actively drink this toxic water supply. If they swim in it, it gets on their fur and when they lick it off then it can still kill them. To err on the safe side just don’t let dogs swim and play in warm stagnant water. Look for blue green algae on the surface of the water. If your dog is over heated think of other ways to cool them off. Hose them down or maybe take them to a river. Natural flow of water break up and disrupt the production of cyanobacteria that make up these toxic algae blooms. I know no pet owner ever wants to see this happen to there animals let along any other. Stay vigilant loving pet owners.

August 10, 2019August 12, 2019

Is Dating Implied Ownership? #212

Why Does It Feel As Such? With That Implied Ownership Comes Control.

As perfect strangers you can be and do anything you want to be. No one telling you otherwise. If you want to go larping on the weekend you can, if you want to shave your head, or grow a long beard, you can. But often when you tell someone you’re MY girlfriend or MY boyfriend. Most people treat it like their significant other just became their possessions. Acting as if they have the deed on this fictitious implied ownership over them.

You’re Mine.

This sweet sentiment we say. Seems to give us the right to now tell them what they can and can not do. How they have to live their life in order to assimilate with ours.

And with that implied ownership, you may begin to manipulate and mold them into the vision you see fit for partnership. Neglecting, albeit sometimes outright destroying their authenticity in the process. Sure this may sometimes produce a better human than what came before. But it’s not someones place to force change upon another. Why can’t we accept the people we choose for who they are, no stipulations. You be you and I’ll be me. And together we’ll just be.

We Don’t Put These Limitations Or Restrictions Upon Friends.

So why do it to our significant other? When these are the people that should be our best friends in the end.

Offer suggestions for betterment but don’t put restrictions that come with punishment if they don’t meet your vision. Don’t date in the first place if you can’t handle who that person is.

Assumption Of Desires.

Another big problem we face when people want change from us. Is we begin to assume other things they might need us to change about ourselves. That we might not living up to. When this happens your partner has just given you the gift of being self conscious about your actions.

We make attempts to change but it could be in the wrong direction. We could end up completely off the mark. That’s what happens when a partner doesn’t accept you as is. You are left in the hamster wheel chasing possible dead ends.

Communication is really the only way to avoid this. And sometimes it can’t be avoided. Communication might put you dead in it’s tracks. But at least you won’t be assuming.

We Almost All Do This.

Some want change, while others want to stay the same. It’s not one side or the other, it’s both sides. Why? Even as we grow with someone, desires will continue to change. No matter the change we should always continue to accept the people in our lives as is. Flaws and beauty in all. And if that isn’t the case, walk away.

August 8, 2019August 10, 2019

The Ultimatum Game #211

There Are No True Winners In The Ultimatum Game.

If one side wins the other loses but the cost of the loss will always burden the winner. It’s a all or nothing roll of the dice. Sure you might get what you want. But if you are playing the ultimatum game with someone close to you. They will most likely grow resentment if it’s not something they also want.

The Ultimatum Game Is Rarely A Win Win Game.

It’s the do this for me or I’m walking out game. It can be high risk high reward but more often then not it leaves both parties at a loss. Sometimes it’s the only answer if you’re not getting what you want. You have to be willing to walk away if what you want is not obtainable with the person you want it with.

Other times it’s worth putting in the work and effort in order to find life alternatives that will satisfy both parties. Because if you get to the point of playing the ultimatum game. It’s probably already too late. Prepare yourself to either change drastically to meet the needs of others, or to depart that particular relationship entirely.

Why Play The Ultimatum Game?

It’s an unfair game and the cards are stacked against all players. So why even play. The answer is simple the parties want more than the other is giving. And in that case you have to draw the line somewhere. As painful as that maybe. It’s almost always a losing battle but it’s the last ditch effort before raising the white flag. You tried and hopefully your efforts were worth the loss. Try to steer clear of these loses establish desire long before the ultimatum. On in other word preset your ultimatums early for expectations later and never waiver from your stance.

August 7, 2019August 10, 2019

The Scam App #210

If An App Cost Money, Don’t Buy It. It Could Be A Scam App. You Can Always Get Something Similar Or Better For Free.

A report came out that the Apple app store was home to nearly 2000 scam apps. These are apps that promise one thing for a monetary fee and deliver nothing in return. The company selling a finger print heart rate monitor that was selling for $85 US dollars. And had earned over $400,000 dollars in one month.

This is incredible, both the lucrative nature of the scam and that people would pay such an atrocious amount for something you could check yourself for free. Or they could buy a working heart rate monitor for a quarter of the cost probably even less off amazon or their local sporting goods store. That’s only one example of a scam. There are so many more that you can find alternative solutions too. Rather than purchasing.

Apple Scam App Detection.

How do these apps slip past the watchful eye that is hired to detect such illicit activities? They apparently submit legit looking code to the app store. Than insert the corruption upon entry. Sad thing is the app store themselves do make a cut off these illegitimate application.

What’s 30% of 400k?

A pretty nice money haul for any company. That’s what Apple earns off one of the millions of apps out there. Hard to shut it down until there is enough uproar. On top of that these companies that build the scam operate through out the world making it near impossible to prosecute or seek retribution. So really this falls to Apple to make right with customers and banish the scams before they even begin.

What Can We Do To Prevent This?

All in all apps are predominantly free. You do not need to purchase any. If you absolutely love an applications service and they offer in app purchases, go for it. That is if you feel so inclined to upgrade a service you already trust. But don’t simply buy an app without doing your due diligence. Researching the cost to it’s actual value and looking for alternatives. Also if reviews are filled with broken English you know they are fake reviews. Just be conscientious when spending money on a unknown resource.

August 6, 2019August 10, 2019

“Reality” Dating Shows And Online Dating #209

There Is Nothing Real About Either Online Dating Or Reality Show Dating.

It’s all just a facade. Only the surface is shown in online dating. No flaws, no problematic areas. Just this perfect fake representation of ourselves. Than our shows on the same subject that claim to be “reality” paint us this fairy tale image. Date as many people as possible in a short span, weed out the riff raff and you will find your prince or princess charming. How has that worked out for anyone? I believe it’s almost near a 100% failure rate.

We Are Our Own Human Resource Manager.

You need time with people you need to experience all what they have to offer and learn to except them. Online dating is just another job you have to take on. You become your own human resources manager shifting through all the resumes. All of which I’m sure have a striking resemblance to all other applications. Because everyone is only exposing the surface. Their best foot forward in order to get that foot into the door.

A Waste Of Time And Energy?

So we’ll waste time and energy picking and choosing those best possible “resumes.” Throwing out all those we deem unsuitable for the job. I honestly don’t know how people do it. But some out there have mastered this job search. They get their interview and often close the very same evening. I’m not sure where the self respect lines are drawn but those who have little get taken advantage of quite easily.

Is This Reality?

Hell the best of the best at this job get on T.V. to showcase their craft on “reality” dating shows. And we buy into that skewed fairy tale image. It all just seems so fake to me. But than again I’m cynical and prefer kismet relationships started by chance meeting, to the new normal of online dating. There really isn’t a wrong way. Good luck to all who participate, I hope everyone gets to find their one.

July 10, 2019July 17, 2019

Associations Of Ill Repute #207

It Is Said That You Are The Sum Total Of The Five People You Keep Associations with Most.

These associations matter. They matter when you want to be a better person and they matter when you find yourself in the gutter. Look around you and see who you spend your time with and see how they influence what you do and who you are. You will notice just how much you all act alike.

It came out today that our president was once an associate and friend with Jeffrey Epstein and through their associations with one another they would have get together’s. They threw a party in the early 90’s at his Mar-A-Lago estate with 28 women and just the two of them. Jeffrey is a billionaire financier who is currently on trial and facing 45 years in prison for sex trafficking and rape charges. He also had a pension for underage women, a fact that Donald has admitted in the past. He did not condemn this fact. Quite the contrary, he likened the man to himself. Donald once said, “he’s like me, he loves beautiful women and he likes them young.” It’s not surprising that the president had associations with this man in the past. Birds of a feather flock together

Consistent Misogynistic Displays

This president has talked candidly about grabbing women in their nether region. The man has been accused of cheating on wives with porn stars and playmates. Meanwhile, he ran pageants for decades with underage women and would frequently visit their dressing rooms while they changed. Feel free to read about his disgusting display at pageants in Rolling Stones, for example.

House Of Cards.

By all accounts this man’s house of cards should have crumbled years ago. Incredibly, he seems to build it up faster than anyone can tear it down. Understand, he is not a good person, politics aside. If you have any proper judge of character you can see this. Yet we always allowed the predator to walk freely among us. He always managed to justify his actions. And from the looks of it he avoided in engaging in blatantly illegal activities from what we know. He just always had associations with these wealthy criminals. What really has taken place? Will we ever know?

Ways To Improve.

All we can really do is watch out for ourselves. Be careful who you associate with. If you find yourself engaging in actions of ill repute, look around you. It might be those closest to you that help facilitate your actions and it could be high time to disassociate and find a better class of individuals to surround yourself with.

July 3, 2019July 17, 2019

Contradictory Gratitude #204.

Gratitude with an Asterisks, Most of Us Are Doing It All Wrong.

There is an oversight to gratitude that we often go without seeing and that is our living contradictions to that of which we are grateful for. If you say I’m grateful for water, it’s a nourishment to life, it keeps me alive and well hydrated it makes the world a beautiful place. And then in turn you curse the rain for ruining your day or getting your hair wet. Then that becomes an immediate a contradiction to your gratitude. There are so many examples of this; thankful for the sun, it helps all the plants grow and the plants in turn feed us and contribute to earth’s beauty but then you complain about the heat or the over growth of trees in your yard, it conflicts with what you might say you’re grateful for.

Maybe you say to yourself that you’re grateful for your spouse, but than in turn, certain things about them you just can’t stand, that’s another conflict of interest. You are not thankful for them as a whole. You might be grateful for income but loath people who have even greater wealth than you. With that, you are directly going against the gratitude tide and it will hurt you especially if you want to get ahead yourself.

Differences In Gratitude.

Yes these are generalizations of a broad spectrum but that’s just the thing gratitude and disdain don’t live in the same realm. You’re either grateful for the entire array, or not. You may try to break it down to just it’s parts. But when it’s just the parts, you understand, you are not expressing true gratitude, gratitude as a whole. And that is where we shoot ourselves in the foot.

Picking and choosing some of what make things special to us is a losing battle. One that can eventually overwhelm your gratitude. Does this sound better I’m thankful for my spouse’s humor and affection but all the rest not so much? How long could that possibly last? What happens when they are not being funny or affectionate? That’s what we do when we break it down to the sum of its parts, we’re not truly grateful. We’re trying to play both sides of the coin and eventually it’s going to land on just one side. Be thankful for all that you have and all that comes with it.

How I Practice Gratitude.

Thank you to the creators of all things and the energy in everything. Thank you for the sun and the trees for the water and the air I breathe. Thank you for all that I have and all that I’ll receive. Then go on to list all the immediate things you are grateful in your life currently. This is a great way to start every morning. Gratitude is powerful.

July 1, 2019July 17, 2019

Not Checking The Box and Moving On with Life’s Checklist #202.

Think Of Life As One Big Checklist, Each Accomplishment Is A Check. Make Your Check And Keep Moving Forward.

So why in life do most of us insist on checking the same boxes multiple times? Think of it this way, we all have this huge life checklist of all the things we want to accomplish while we’re here on earth. This checklist would have everything spouse, family, college, life’s work, inventions businesses, places to see. So since it’s so full with random goals, we have to break down this checklist into subcategories; dating/relationships, travel, employment, business, financial, etc.

Life Repeating The Past

Now as your going through your checklist so far. How often do you find yourself dating the same person just in a different skin? Or going on the exact same vacation every year? Working the same position in different industries or for different companies?

Maybe you like what you do and who you date and where you go. Maybe you’re simply a creature of habit and don’t want new experiences and just want that same routine every year. But by doing that we keep ourselves trapped in the mundane. We don’t strive for new goals. We also believe the checklist set for us by others, be it family members, or the media, is our own. So we all seem to follow a very similar path.

Moving Forward

It’s time to start saying, “screw it, I’ve been there, done that, now it’s time to move on.” If you’ve accomplished all things in a certain subcategory then push that category aside. Maybe you’ve traveled to every country in the world or you’ve checked all your boxes for dating. Move on to a different category, one with many vacant check marks where empty boxes lie.

Maybe you haven’t scratched the surface in business or your financial goals are lacking, maybe you haven’t traveled anywhere yet. Take a break from the same accomplishments and focus on new ones. You will thank yourself that you did. And if you absolutely want to repeat something, go for it, just add new variety to it.