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Sleep Depravity (Blowing It Scenario #144).

Is This A Dream? Are We All Walking Through Life Half Awake Half Asleep? When We Have Too Much Going On In Life, Sleep Becomes The First Casualty.

As I write this my eyes burn from lack of sleep but not for a lack of effort. The days sometimes get busy and if you’re not careful they can tend to slip away from you. It’s 5 a.m. and if I don’t fall asleep by 8:30 p.m. I can kiss those eight hours goodbye. We often don’t take into account that we’re restless and awake at least one hour throughout the night. So we can’t, say, go to bed at 9, and wake at 5 and assume that we got our necessary sleep requirements. Who has the ability get to bed at these hours anyway?

Most of us have job and other work throughout the day, consider that at least 10 hours out of your day is spent at a job, with commute and lunch break it’s a reasonable assumption, maybe a little less time, maybe a little more, give or take. That leaves you with about 5 waking hours left to yourself and other curricular activities. Not taking into account dinner which can take hours, and if you have kids and they have activities, your time, that measly 5 hours, is now there’s. Maybe you want a little time with your significant other every night those hours add up too. Or if you’re working on building something like a side business or you have a hobby more hours. Maybe you want to get to the gym, the drive there and back adds up, along with the workout itself. Where do you find the time for that? It usually comes at the sacrifice of sleep, long after the children are asleep and the work is complete. So when you want to try to cut out a tiny sliver of time for yourself, you either have none or you’re relegated to slashing those extremely important, highly necessary sleep hours. To add to all this we have our technology that is a constant hindrance not only to our attention but also to our sleep, blasting us all day and into the evening, with alert inducing blue light beams. Light that never fully allows us to produce the much needed melatonin and serotonin necessary to fall asleep.

I have a friend who practically is sleepwalking through life. With a full time job, a wife and three kids who are very active in sports and school, he scarcely has any time to sleep let alone time for himself. Yet this is an incredibly common story in our society. We do not prioritize sleep enough anymore. But we certainly need to start.

Set bed times for everyone in your house hold. Disconnect from technology. Block out distracting light or noise. Have an evening routine that helps you wind down. Do the routine and go to sleep at the same time every evening. Keep the temperature in your room around 65 degrees. Keep the same wake time and if it changes, change up your evening routine as well to accommodate. Use natural aids in only essential situations don’t abuse any sleep remedies. Your body will do it naturally if you just train it too. With enough sleep you’re less irritable, happier, more alert, and more pleasant to be around. So whatever it takes we should get more sleep, we will all be better for it.



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Apologizing Because Of Backlash (Blowing It Scenario #143).

We All Know You Don’t Mean It. It’s A Forced Apology.

It’s sometimes hard to eat crow, having to swallow your pride and apologize isn’t always easy. Apologies can be a tough pill to swallow but when you know you’re in the wrong it’s always the right thing to do, even if it hurts. But all too often those who are in the wrong do not make an attempt to apologize until their remarks are brought to the attention of others and only when the perpetrator receives a massive backlash over the comments or actions they made. Only then will they relent on their unpopular opinion and apologize. However the damage is already done, you cannot unsay something. And when you say what you mean, you have to stick by your words, and if you can’t, don’t say them in the first place.

People speak their mind and that is a great thing that needs to be supported and encouraged. Also if it’s how you truly feel you should never relent, even if it means you will lose. Just know that you can lose. Lose friends, lose family, lose your job. It can happen, but it should not take these events to see the wrong in your ways of thought. Feel free to say the unpopular things, maybe you are at the forefront of a beneficial yet revolutionary movement that others have yet to catch on to. Or maybe your view is the right one at the wrong time.

Often times when people find out that they hold an incredibly loathed view point they’ll back step their initial stance and apologize for offending they party’s they are saying offensive things to. A true apology is one of regret and remorse and one that is followed by actions that are conducive to their new way of thinking. Empty apologies without those actions are void of feelings, void of character, void of empathy and have no real meaning. They’re empty words masquerading as an apology. No one benefits, the perpetrator feels forced to do it feelings unchanged and the victims feels that there was no sympathy. But yet you both have to except the results. You can only hope in the future that those who are in the wrong, be it either side, but usually it’s the side apologizing, learn from their mistakes and hopefully they don’t make the same ones in the future.



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Youthful Premature Maturity (Blowing It Scenario #139).

Kids Are Growing Up And Using Adult Themes Far Earlier Than Ever Before And It’s Not A Good Thing.

I recently read an article where a young boy of nine years old came out to his classmates as gay. He then received everything but support from his class. Children can also be very cruel when they lack understanding and have no remorse. This boy of nine was than ridiculed to the point of suicide. I’ll say it again, only nine years old. It’s incredibly tragic and I feel it’s avoidable.

Maybe it’s just me but I think both sexual orientation and suicide are topics that no nine year should approach that young, and if they do, guide them away from it. I had no idea what gay or straight was when I was that age. And that’s how it should be. Kids should not at all be discussing their own sexual orientation that young. It’s far too heavy of a burden for a child. I get that we all are attracted to others starting at a very young age and sometimes that attraction is to those of the same sex. But it doesn’t make sense to voice it at that age when you are still many years away from seeking a partner. That goes for straight kids as well.

Kids are doing terrible things far before their maturity is there to really know right from wrong. And it’s all due to the information input they are receiving. It’s tragic that a child feels they can’t simply be a child that they need to take on heavier issues. The mother in the case of the boy did what every mother should do, love your child unconditionally. But I feel maybe if the child was better prepared for the cruel outside world that doesn’t love like a mother. He may have not approached such a subject with his peers quite yet. He would have waited for the right time. And yes there is a right time and it’s not nine. You may know then but you are not ready then.

And if you believe that nine is an appropriate age to take on adult themes, than maybe you’ll agree we should also allow nine year olds to have adult responsibilities like drive, vote, smoke, enroll in the military, drink alcohol to their hearts content, work a 40 year hour workweek. But that’s not the case because there are safe guards to protect children and we shouldn’t stop at just government mandates. Your home should always the first and main safe guard to protect children even if that means it’s not what they want to hear.



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Illogicality (Blowing It Scenario #138)

Be Logical In All Your Reasoning. But Be Unreasonable In Your Ambitious Pursuits. It’s Only Logical.

What’s wrong with speaking our truths simply, succinctly, and logically? We need to use logic to not only solve problems but to convey what we are doing and why we are doing it. It is not logical to blindly believe in something after history, science, and evolution have proven it to be wrong. Logic is taking all the seemingly random pieces of the puzzle and systematically putting them together to a conceptually sound point. Than relaying that information to the world at large.

It is illogical to reward bad behavior. If a child is hurting there sibling you do not reward them with candy. If an adult is habitually damaging their body or their life with no repentance or work towards improvement you don’t reward them with free financial benefits or replacement parts they have already damaged. If someone can’t maintain their own home, you don’t go and buy them a new house, it’s simply not logical. It is illogical to add complexity to simplicity. If you can get somewhere in life or in geographical terms in two moves, why would you take twelve to get there? It’s wasteful and illogical. Unless you’re doing it to take the scenic route or for the pure enjoyment of the added effort.

Logic is the fabric of our universe, everything works in tandem with explainable laws. If it’s not a law, than it’s theory. And in theory we need to be illogical at times to reach a far reaching conclusion. Because that which may seem logical to us at one point could be upended by new illogical information that in time is essentially far more logical. You have to sometimes be the judge of what makes most sense to you. The same goes with starting a new venture or that of ambitious pursuits. Logic would say play it safe, while risk would be illogical. But that is the time best suited for illogicality. We must take risk from time to time to build our resolve, to grow and improve. So use logic often but also know when it’s time to take risk.



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Sore Losers (Blowing It Scenario #137).

We All Love To Win, And For Most Of Us That Comes With A Heavy Disdain For Losing. But There Is An Appropriate Way To Win, As Well As An Appropriate Way To Lose.

As the saying goes; show me someone who loves to lose and I’ll show you a loser. That can tend to be an over-generalization of tough pill to swallow. No one enjoys losing but how we handle it is the true mark of a winner or loser. This is not something that is taught very often. Be gratuitous both in victory and in defeat.

For most of my life I thought losing was a disgraceful representation of the fact that I did not do my best in that particuar endeavour. Something to incessantly ruminate over and to continuously berate one’s self as well as sometimes that of your opposition.  It’s a loser pity party to blame those around you or beat yourself up over the loss. You do have to take full accountability of your actions and the loss. But beating yourself up over it and not looking for ways to improve is a true loss.

Losing is simply just a lesson on ways to improve. It does not mean you didn’t try your hardest or do the best you could possibly do. Sometimes you are just outplayed by your opponent and that is a good thing. It means you still have a lot of room to grow, room to improve. It doesn’t always come down to not doing your best, your best may not be good enough in that moment. And in that moment thank your competitor for giving you a gift, the gift of discovery. You now have a new blueprint on finding ways to improve. Maybe you didn’t put in the amount of time and practice you competition did. Maybe you don’t communicate with your team or you’re just not as in sync as your opponents were. There are always ways to improve. Thank your competition in the midst of defeat for showing you those new methods.

Recently at a “Madden” gaming tournament in Jacksonville Florida a lone gun man who had earlier been eliminated from the tournament. Took losing to the ultimate extremes by channeling his aggression for both the loss and I’m sure for life in general. In to attacking and killing fellow players along with himself.  This is truly a disgusting display on every level, not just of how not to lose but how not to live life. Our hearts go out to the victims of this tragedy. It’s a lesson that we can all do more to improve. We all lose when tragedies like this strike. Now that we have lost the question remains how will we use this loss to be better in the future?

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Rigidity, Inflexibility (Blowing It Scenario #136)

Our Answers Are Not Always The Right Ones, And Should Never Be Treated Like They’re The Only Ones.  

Rigidness is good if you are trying to create a new habit or new positive routine to stick to. You must stick to the routine with the utmost discipline. Be inflexible and don’t waiver. Wake at the same time, set your day exactly how you want it and keep it going, stay repetitive, don’t break the chain. Set deadlines and stick to them with rigid fervor. However, remember the immortal words of Bruce Lee, “the stiff tree cracks and breaks under strong wind while the sapling bends and sways with it.” To survive the storms of life sometimes you need to be flexible.

When it comes to information and working with others we have to exercise patients. We have to be adaptable and most certainly we have to be flexible. No two people are alike. Everyone comes from a different background than our own. We must be cognizant of that fact and not force our will upon another. If we feel we have pertinent knowledge that can help another, we must guide them. Not control them, but enlightened them. And if they have knowledge that counters your own, accept them. For they are not wrong, they just have differing beliefs than your own and that is a good thing. They could have even more enlightened answers to the questions we are all in search of. Try not to be incapable of such open mindedness. Do not be incapacitated by your own self worth. Let others assist your growth and be malleable. At the very least hold strong to your beliefs but don’t let that completely affect your work with others.

Listen to other individuals; it’s one of the most important traits we can cultivate within ourselves. Even if you believe they are working from completely false pretenses. They still deserve to have a voice, and a helpful guiding ear to hear them out. This article is simply just how one person feels. There can be a limitless number of opposing viewpoints and I welcome those discussions. I want to know what others view as their truths, their right and wrong answers. Come at life with a beginners mind even when you think you have all the right answers.



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Airport Security (Blowing It Scenario #134)

It’s Becoming More Difficult And Taking Far More Time Than Any Other Form Of Transportation Just To Take A Short Flight Anywhere. Now It’s About To Only Get Worse.

Gone are the good ole days when going to the airport was an event. An enjoyable one at that. You could walk your loved one all the way to their flight to see them off. Or you could stand at their gate to patiently await their arrival to welcome them in with open arms. All it took was a simple metal detector check point crossing and away you went. You could spend the whole day together just enjoying each others company in the airport. Taking in a meal at a restaurant while watching the planes take off and land. And when it was their time to leave you said your goodbyes at the very last possible second when the airline employee took their tickets and wished them a good flight. Now a days a root canal could be more enjoyable than what it takes to get through an airport. Not to mention all the time it now takes away from your life.

If you want to take a short flight to the next state over. It nearly takes an entire day to get there. First you must get to the airport and unless you live right next door, tack on roughly an hour. Airport security suggest arriving two to three hours prior to flight just so you can hurry up and wait to eventually get objectified by an x-ray machine that blast you with radiation in order to scan and expose your entire body. Seeing everything beyond your clothing. Manned by some random stranger behind closed doors. And if they find an anomally or choose you randomly. Get ready to be physically violated by another stranger laying hands upon your body. Once you get through that madhouse. You get to patiently await news that you are one of the lucky few that your flight will be leaving on time today. However if your on the end of a delay. Congratulations you get to spend your day trapped in an airport till the company causing your delay finds you an alternative solution. Who cares that you could have spent your day enjoying your vacation or slept in. Maybe even got a little more time with your loved ones. Nope, your stuck now because you already crossed the security check point. No more coming and going as you please. Now you get to spend double what you usually would on food and drinks to provided much needed sustainance and to pass the time. Once your flight is ready to go, you get to enjoy the hour long boarding process hopefully the lugguge is loaded and the plane refueled quickly. So you can join the wait in the que of other planes taxing to your runway to take off as well. This can also take hours to get through. Now your locked in a stationary, highly confined box just waiting. No food or refreshments served at this time. And try to hold that pee till after take off. Once you finally get to your destination a better part of your day has passed. A one hour flight easily could turn into a twelve hour process. If this destination is a layover, better hope to goodness you didn’t miss your connecting flight due to these delays. That could open a whole new can of worms that could decimate your entire vacation altogether. Especially since you are only given a brief repreave from work to enjoy that one week out of the year you get free.

Now even the airport staff is losing it. Over the weekend an airport employee took it upon himself to steal a commercial plane from from Sea-Tac airport near Seattle Washington. With no flight training what so ever he managed to take off do some pretty incredible manuvers of a commercial jetliner including entire loops while inflight. After about an hour in the air and with the air Force hot on his trail he than crash landed on a secluded part of ketron island in the Puget sound killing just himself. It’s a wild story that will most likely introduce a whole new security protocol for airline employees that will most likely transend into the common travelers lives. Travelling the world is still one of the best things you can do in life. Seeing and experiencing different cultures is an incredible education in exceptance, emotional intelligence and it’s tremendously fulfilling. But is it too much to ask to make it a better, more enjoyable process along the way? Maybe that means airports create a better entainment area, one that allows everyone and only has security to just get to the gates. In that entertainment area they could have a timer on how long it will take to get through security and to your gate and have constantly updated flight info. So you no longer have to be trapped beyond security if you don’t want to be. Maybe a little more leg room and shoulder room on the planes while we’re at it. Scratch that a lot more room. And arm rest for all.



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Underestimating The Power Of Words (Blowing It Scenario #130)

Words Hold Tremendous Power Over Us. How Is It We Give Them Such Incredible Meaning?

Words can be the alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. They can be beautifully elagant or disasterously repugnant. They can help you obtain love of the one you fancy most or they can destroy the foundations of relationships long established. They can employ you and empower you. They can give cause to fire you or fight you. They can enlighten you and educate you. They can depress you and demoralize you. They can start and end wars. You can live or die by the choice of words you choose. They can be hateful or loving. The same words can have different meanings in different context. They can offend and be hard to comprehend. They can be supportive, complimentary, and congratulatory. You can use them to commend or reprimand. They can condesend and cast doubt. They’re both humorous and sad. You can use words to express joy and elation. They can be hurtful or pleasurable. You can use a depressing dialog one filled with sorrow and pain. Or you can use an uplifting optimistic dialog filled with positivity and hope. You will ruminate over them and dissect them. Say the wrong thing and you may pay for it for life, or with life. Say the right thing and it can give you an abundance in that same life.

Singular words can offend whole cultures, races, genders, sexual orientations. N word, C word, F word, B word. List the alphabet a to z and you’ll probably find a word for every corresponding letter that will offend another in some shape or form.

Recently the director of Guardians Of The Galaxy was fired from his post for derogatory comments made in jest over a decade ago. Those comments have since been deleted. It was a misguided attempt at humor that does not represent the director to this day. But words can transend time, written word will be around long after your gone and now if they’re posted on the internet they may very well survive through any and all effort of removal. And the words the director once uttered have since cost him his job. To the dismay of his co-workers and many others who have worked with him through the years. It’s a valuable lesson to learn, so valuable it may cost this man millions.

Always be careful about what you say and who you say it too. Be slow to cast judgement. Think before speak. Ask yourself of how it will effect others. If we can speak or write we will all make mistakes at some point, it’s human nature. Be swift to forgive those who express remorse. Sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the most important ones. And it often comes through your own trial and error. Be patient with yourself and others. Remember the saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words…well words just might be the reason for those sticks and stones and broken bones. Chose to use them wisely.



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Stand Your Ground Laws (Blowing It Scenario #129)

If You’re Able To Kill Someone After Provoking A Fight With Them, There Is Something Inherently Wrong With That Law.

Last week a gentleman in Florida provoked a fight with a couple who parked in a handicap spot. The couple who had young children in the car were approached by a man upset about their choice to park in that spot. I’m guessing they parked there in order to save time even though there was open spots closer to the front door. Or they didn’t notice it was for hanficap individuals. The couple was not handicap nor did they require handicap parking which they absolutely should have not used it as a parking spot no matter what their reasoning. No non handicap person should ever park in those spots. They are there for a reason, as convenience for those who need it most. That was their first mistake.

The man who drove the vehicle was in the store with one of his children getting snacks when he was alerted to the man fighting with the mother of his children out front. In a very ill advised move, the father stormed out of the store and ran over to shove the man causing issue with the mother. That was his second and most costly mistake. Never ever approach an irate individual who is clearly looking to goad another into a fight and immediately engage him in that fight. Allow cooler heads to prevail and ask him how we can improve the situation at hand. After the first shove, the man on the ground immediately pulled a gun from his pocket and shot the father in the chest. Even though the father seemed to yield after shoving the other man.

This man who provoked the fight in the first place who also ended it by ending another mans life. It seemed as if he was actively looking for an excuse to shoot someone and he found it by enticing another to fight him. A notion proven by another non handicap individual who parked in that same a few weeks before and said that same man engaged him and threatened him to shoot him for parking there. Now the man who killed the individual and threatened others will not be charged with any crime because he is compliant with Florida’s stand your ground gun laws. I don’t think it’s off base to believe aspects of certain laws that allow others to kill people legally need some form of ratification in order to limit the power of those who begin the dispute. These individuals must face the consequences of their actions. That man could have just brandished the gun and the fight would have ceased, lessons still would have been learned. But pulling the trigger is an action with finality to it. Leaving no options for the individual who may have made a mistake to correct that mistake. It also removed a young father from his children’s lives. In the stand your ground law it always seems to be the individuals who intiate that mortally retaliate. This has to change.



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Following Your Passion (Blowing It Scenario #128).

The Sage Advice Of The The Mediocre, The Entitled, And The Very Rare Lucky Few.

What I wouldn’t give to be able to make a living traveling the world, eating amazing food, relaxing on beaches, celebrating the good life with my friends all along the way. That would be doing what I love. Sure there are ways to obtain such a lifestyle and when I get to that point I’ll be sure to look back on my assension and tell you to just follow your passion but I assure you it will be a false claim.

In order to get anywhere in life we have to put in work. And unless hard work in whatever endeavor is truly your passion. You are going to have to do things you don’t outright love to do in order better yourself and your station in life. That will be the cost. Paid for in blood sweat and tears and your incredibly valuable time. If you want to build a business or gain muscle you don’t simply follow your passion of binge watching Netflix. You work your ass off for it. Some may love the gym and others may love building businesses and every little thing that goes into it. The marketing, the accounting, the long hours, the human resources, the management of others, the web design, the sales, the product development, and all the other things that go into starting and running a business. If you’re passionate about each and every minute detail, congratulations you’re a rare breed. But for most, I guarantee you will find one or two things you absolutely despise to do. You will just have to do them in order to get ahead.

Steve Jobs once said follow your passion in a commencement speech to recent college grads. This man, who by all accounts was one of the most tenaciously competitive business people on the planet. Do you think someone like that wants hungry college grads eager to make a name for themselves, to challenge his supremacy? That’s a message to lull you into this complacent fantasy that you may never break free from. This idea of do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life is the best way to hurt the thing you love. Here’s the true advice, feel free to follow your passion but be willing to sacrifice other things you might love or be passionate about along the way. Sometimes you can develop passion through hard work. And sometimes when you’re truly passionate about something you’ll put in the hard work. More often than not though life is about not always doing things you love. That sugar coated message has brought about a whole generation of flaky entitled individuals. I know because I once believed this to be the path. You can easily go through life on an endless passion hunt. When one of your “passions” stops being something you “love.” It’s on to the next shiny object you fancy, that you can fixate upon until your next passion strikes you. And the cycle continues. Just do the work, passion can be a control point that you construct your dream around but don’t allow it to be the basis of all that you do. Something’s will be a struggle, learn to grow a passion for that struggle. Don’t simply follow your passion, guide it.



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