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Forgive #166.

Why Does If Feel Like If We Make Any Little Mistake, We’ll Pay For It For The Rest Of Our Lives? Forgive And Move Forward.

Why is it we find this so difficult to forgive? No matter what we do or say someone somewhere will always find offense with it. It’s impossible to be perfect all the time. Yet our spouses expect it, media expects it, family can expect it. It’s as if you have a one or two off days and that’s it. We will excommunicate you. Banished for life why we maintain this grudge. It’s absolutely ridiculous folks.

Forgive
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

You may not always agree with what someone else says but they have a right to that opinion just like you have the right to disagree with that opinion. Neither of which is always right and that’s the paradox of it all. So why not forgive, no one is actually right 100 percent of the time. So that’s where our conflicts needs to end, a small disagreement. We don’t need to hold on to it and escalate it to the point of causing harm.

We Seem To Live In World That Is Constantly Unrelenting In It’s Willingness To Chastise.

Recently Kevin Hart was hired on to host the Emmy’s. Within a few days of the announcement he had to step down from his post because a few people took offense to tweets he made. Probably in an attempt to be funny, but they were homophobic in nature.

Although I don’t condone what he said I will defend the right to say it. Everyone has the right to speak there mind. I highly recommend avoiding hate speak though. When you take that position you are already coming at it from a place that lacks forgiveness.

If you hate something it’s because you are unwilling to come to terms with it, you feel incapable to forgive how it makes you feel. Let it go, forgive others, forgive yourself. Educate yourself in order to see others points of view. Don’t fear the lifestyles and cultures of others, learn to assimilate, you don’t have to actively participate but you can be respectful in your decline.

Projection.

If someone does something harmful to you, it’s probably because they couldn’t forgive something in themselves that they may see in you or think they see  something they might deem unforgivable and vise versa. So the cycle continues. Close the loop, forgive.



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Confirmation Bias #165

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear Or Read. Avoid Confirmation Bias In The Wrong Information.

Especially on this website. These articles are my developed cognitive biases. You don’t have use them to be your confirmation bias. There will always be information to either support or reject your ideas and hypothesis. Be sure to do your research learn every possible angle and make your own conclusions from the most logical deductions.

We are shaped by our cognitive biases. I believe it’s healthy to have such gifts. Nothing great, incredible, or new was every built or imagined without some form of cognitive bias.

Think Outside The Box.

confirmation bias
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You will have to go against the grain. against the status quo to bring an ambition or something that has never been done to life. It’s those without the cognition to think outside the box that become the naysayers. They will tell you that can’t be done or it’s a stupid pipe dream. These are the individuals who have myopic views of the world.

They will read articles and listen to talking heads that reinforce and support those such views and it will get them locked deeper into them. This is confirmation bias at work and it’s closed minded thinking. They are trapped by this thinking and the snare only cinches tighter.

Our Beliefs

Keep an open mind even if we believe we know we are right. Also forego telling those individuals any of your dreams, actually tell no one for that matter and just build it. I read that when you tell someone a goal or a far fledged aspiration the mind constructs that event as if it has been done and you receive the hit of dopamine when people like your idea. So much so that you feel the accolades prior to even doing anything. That action has the adverse effect and more often than not prevents you from taking any action. Why leap when you already told others about your future leap and they already congratulated you prematurely?

Options.

Feel free to be biased in ways that will keep you and our culture advancing. Crush the biases that keep you standing still or worse reverting back to negative patterns of thought and expression.



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The Fear Of Missing Out (Blowing It Scenario #164)

It’s A Easy Fix, If Have A Fear Of Missing Out On Something. Simply Change What You Desire Or That Which You Value Most.

Easier said than done most will say. Some might even fear change itself. That’s a very tough predicament to find yourself in, with all those elevated levels of fear. For those of you who are fearful of many things, such as fear of missing out, or the fear of change. There is a solution and its not glamorous.

Fear Of Missing Out
Photo by Bram. on Unsplash

Routine Is Your Salvation.

No magic pills just hard work. Embrace that which you are most afraid to change. Lean into that fear, make the change. Do it day in and day out and just never stop doing it till it becomes habitual. You won’t even have to think about it. Tough at first but second nature after a period of time and repetition. It may take a month to build the new habit or a lifetime of focus. It really comes down to how you view it. If you feel its a struggle, it will be one. However, if you feel you are working on mastering your mind and body. It will be a trans-formative and enjoyable experience.

A friend of mine who struggles with drug usage. Reached out to another friend of mine who struggles with enabling in help through financial means.

The drug user friend knows exactly who to reach out to get the form of “help” he needs, usually financial. And he’ll tug on their heart strings with messages like “I’m homeless can you help” or “I’m out of gas and need money.” Many generous friends have given this individual a lot of money over the years. Only to watch him squander it on drugs and gambling.

How To Change.

These friends now know after thousands of dollars spent trying to help. That their contribution isn’t helpful at all. In fact it has the adverse effect and the only thing that will help this individual is change. Change he is afraid to make but it’s supremely necessary.

Change Your Environment.

First he’ll need to change his environment, ditch the people closet to you. Negative “friends” will drag you down with them given the opportunity and misery loves company. He needs to get them completely out of his life. Then work on changing habits, desires and values. You would have to desire change and not just spare change for the next fix, actual change. Which I believe most people want.

Guide Your Actions, Make It Emotional.

Here is how the drug user could help himself. Wake up every morning at the exact same time. Wake at 6 am, then workout, then write a journal about your recovery. Full of emotion and feeling and how you are going to make that one day better than the last. If you want, post it online to help other individuals in their recovery. Eat a healthy natural breakfast full of fruits and vegetables, eat that throughout the day. Go to work, if you can’t find work, volunteer.

Just keep yourself from being idle throughout the day. As the saying goes idle hands are the devils tools. It’s a very true statement, if you don’t have productive activity that’s where bad things find root. And don’t just vacantly say you will do these things, do them because in the famous words of John D. Rockefeller, “words without deeds are like a garden full weeds.” Lastly set a sleep time and routine for every evening, stick to it religiously. This is the way to help that friend, he has to help himself.

I’ll say it again routine is the salvation. He may not understand it, and he may not recognize it right now. But he is already in a negative pattern, a negative routine, it’s a cycle. He has a fear of missing out, and he’s afraid to change. But if you fear missing out on night life or drinks and doing drugs, change your desires.

Prioritize.

Make sleep the choice you prioritize, something you are unwilling to miss out on. Value moments throughout your day with friends. Take that time to create things, rather then consume or simply enjoy great conversation. Make a good cut off time every evening for alone wind down time and ultimately bed time.

Value your time alone, don’t feel that you always need to be in company. And when you are in company make the best of it. Just choose better desires and better values. Than continue to act on those and life will change for the better around you.

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Strike While The Iron Is Hot #163.

Strike While The Iron Is Hot

Strike While The Iron Is Hot, The Only Thing That Should Prevent You Is Other Hotter Irons.

Strike While The Iron Is Hot
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Strike while the iron is hot is some of the best advice their is. So simple in its message, so succinct. Yet we often don’t heed it till its far too late. And what once was hot is now ice cold no long malleable.

Jump at opportunities the moment they present themselves. Don’t wait around believing these opportunities will always be there. The irons always grow cold with time. And what once was an incredible possibility, is now a memory of what could have been.

Even if you’re slightly uncertain if its something you want to pursue. At the very least try it out. Just except it conditionally, than do your research, and if you find it’s something definitely not for you, you can than decline.

We Believe It Will Always Be Available.

So many of us often believe that if something or someone presents themselves to us that we have this unlimited time frame. That that opportunity will always be available to us. If it happens once it can happen again, right? This more often than not isn’t the case. We simply miss the boat and when we finally decide we want to catch it we’re left to swim after it, almost destined to never to draw near again, just simply treading water in it’s wake.

That’s not to say it can’t happen with tenacity and relentlessness. You can eventually catch back up but wouldn’t you have rather caught it when you had the chance to simply walk aboard. If it’s a ship your weary of, just be sure to bring an extra life boat and some survival gear. It might be in for the ride of your life. Or after inspection you deem it to be something that is not seafaring and will potentially sink with you aboard, get off before you set sail.

At least you said yes and than did your research which turned into a no. These are all just metaphors for take the chance. You never want to look back on a life less lived and think to yourself I wish I would have just jumped at that opportunity.

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Craving Attention #162.

Stop Craving Attention In The Wrong Way. We Can Hear And See You Just Fine. You Can Turn Down The Volume On That Boisterous Voice Of Yours.

It has always baffled me how some need constant focus on themselves. As if your attention isn’t ever needed elsewhere. And is only best suited on them. Always craving attention from everyone in the room. They try to control every conversation. They only listen to others not to gain a better understanding. Instead it’s in order to find their next topic to discuss themselves more. And when a break in conversation happens, it’s back to them.

Many Have A Craving Attention, It’s Why Social Media Is So Successful.

As children it is understandable, in fact it’s quite necessary actually. As we grow older though, what is it that carries with some individuals that they must always be a distraction in the room? A simple distraction in the room is sometimes the best case scenario for people craving attention.

Negative Side Of Craving Attention

A select few will lash out in unimaginable ways. They will quietly endure the pain of neglect or unwelcome negative focus until it reaches a boiling point. They think if they do harm than others will finally see them.

Channel The Craving In A Good Way.

Craving Attention
Photo by Miguel Henriques on Unsplash

Yet other times attention needed is channeled into a productive projects like acting or singing, modeling or lecturing. Never the less needing others attention is an act that is 100 percent reliant on varying perimeters outside their control.

You can’t always maintain another’s focus nor must they give it to you. It is their right to ignore. We can only worry about what we do, where we place our focus. Not what others can do for us. I’m sure for some attention is like a dopamine hit with the more eyes on them the bigger the high.

Good Side.

I guess you can argue that just like with everything else there is usually a good side and a bad side to craving attention from others. The good side would be those making us laugh, helping us grow, and entertaining us.

Bad Side.

The bad side would be those looking to fight, harming others, causing annoying distractions, or yelling obscenities. If you do feel you need all eyes on you, that isn’t always a bad thing.

I would just highly recommend you channel it into something of value to others and let others decide if they want to pay attention to you or not. Or simply let go of the unnecessary need to have attention on you.

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Theft #161.

Theft

Stealing Is Never The Right Answer. And With The Holidays Approaching Theft Happens Even More Often. It Takes A Special Kind Of Low To Take From Another.

It’s that time of year, with all the wonderful giving, there is a select few who are performing theft. You’ll watch it on the local news almost nightly. Security cameras will pick up some entitled selfish individual jumping out of their car in order to go steal someone else’s boxes from their porch. Boxes they did not pay for or earn, nor do they even know what these boxes contain.

Theft
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

They just steal in the hopes its of value to them.

Do they simply throw it out if it’s not what they want? Or do they sell it cheap online, possibly less than half of what the purchaser paid for it? It certainly isn’t returned to the rightful owner.

In their actions they show a blatant disregard for others. Not only their personal property but also there trust and security and faith in humanity. What would ever possess someone to do such things?

Ethical Theft

There are very few things that can be considered ethical theft. Stealing another’s freedom if they abuse it is sometimes the only answer. But almost all thievery is unnecessary, not just the poor stealing to get by. But also the wealthy charging far more than necessary for goods and services. There are very few if any noble pursuit that involve stealing.

You’re Doing Something Terribly Wrong With Your Life.

If you feel you have to steal from another at any point just to make ends meet or get farther ahead, you are doing something terribly wrong in life to put yourself in such a position. The sad thing about it is, stealing does advance one party but it only comes at the expense of another. And stealing from someone who is stealing only perpetuates the problem.

Exacerbating The Problem

The drug addict will still get his fix, while the tool owner will have to buy a new tools or whatever the addict chooses to take to sell for a drastically lower price. Some might purchase that cheap item online that was stolen from another. This only exacerbates the problem.

Those in power who take from the pockets of those with lessor means are not just nefarious in their actions, They will often continue to advance while others suffer. Same thing there, the problems only surmount. The snakeoil salesmen who sells his snakeoil. He increases while others decrease. At what point do your individual needs encroach on other individuals rights?

The Helpful Neighbor That Dies Trying To Stop Thieves

Recently I read about an old lady who’s house was broken into and the group of thieves were just children. You show me the household of kids like this and I guarantee it will display a history of perpetual theft. Be it theft of innocence or theft of love. Something was taken or withheld. So they do it to others.

Sadly the kids didn’t end with just breaking into an helpless old ladies house. A considerate neighbor came to check on the house for the lady and the thieving children stole that man’s life. It’s senseless, it’s selfish, it’s horrific and it needn’t happen. Especially to those trying to help others. Let’s give rather than take from one another and let that be the action that gets perpetuated.

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Hospitals Denying Treatment And Recommending Crowdsourcing To Fund Medical Bills #160.

So It’s A Big No To Socialized Medicine But The Medical Field And Insurance Industry Want You To Socialize Your Finances With Crowdsourcing. In Order To Pay Them Their Exorbitant Fees.

Just find the money elsewhere. A story recently came out of a women who was denied being placed on the heart transplant list. Because she didn’t have the $10,000 to cover her copay. In their denial. The hospital suggested that the lady start a gofundme (Crowdsourcing) page. In order to beg for the needed financial assistance from friends, family and the kindness of strangers. To achieve that amount for her to be placed upon the donor list.

And that is the world we live in. The poor are left to beg for their life. This lady even has insurance but the copay is too high that she is denied the lifesaving services. What is the point of insurance if can’t even cover expenses? Insurance sole purpose is to indemnify an individual in the case of catastrophic financial loss. That is specifically what it is intended for. This situation seems pretty catastrophic.

Do We Now Need Insurance For Our Insurance?

Most developed even under developed countries have healthcare built into the rights of all citizens. Paid for through there hard work and taxes. In America we pay high taxes that tend to not much benefit the individual payer. When health issues arise individuals are forced into bankruptcy in order to have a chance at life.

Beg, Borrow or Steal

Seems to be the only answer for survival to those who don’t have the money for a medical emergency. Or any emergency for that matter. If you’re poor and don’t run a massively tight budget in order to have savings. These three decisions seem to be the only three options available.

First she’ll look to begging through crowdsourcing or panhandling. If that doesn’t work she’ll ask for a loan. Clearly no bank would loan a dying poor woman money. So when that fails, the last option to survive would be to steal. Sadly that might be this lady best choice.

Stealing To Get Healthcare

She might be better off if she steals. That’s the catch in this system. If you steal and get caught. Then you go to jail. You will not be refused medical treatment in jail. It’s a completely backwards system. And we need do something about it. So good people don’t get taken advantage of and have to turn to alternative means in order to live.

Health care is a business, insurance is a business. Each one has the purpose to make money so it can stay in business and help others.

Crowdsourcing
Photo by Alexander Mils on Unsplash

As frustrating as this story is, it does make sense and the hospital gave this woman valuable advice on how to potentially obtain the finances through crowdsourcing. In order to get the medical attention she so much needed. I don’t love the system but in order to stay ahead of it we have to look at the best answer, and it’s simple. Always save for a rainy day because you never know when your roof will cave in.

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Commute To Work #159.

Commute

What Cost You Money, Time And Energy, Just So You Can Give Your Time And Energy To Make Money? It’s your commute

Commute

It’s that hellatious daily commute we all love so dearly. Unless you live where you work, you have one. And if you have one you know all to well about the daily plight most of us go through.

Time Cost Of Commute.

Many commutes average about an hour one way. That means two hours a day round trip. 10 hours a week. 40 hours a month. Which all adds up to a whopping 20 days a year. That we spend locked in our vehicles stressed to the hilt. Trying making it to work on time and worrying about the other drivers around us.

All the while not being capable of performing any other task that might help to free us from that daily grind. Nope, we can just drive on in our silent misery. Well maybe not silent but at least the other drivers can’t hear us lament with your profanity riddled screams.

Monetary Cost Of Commute.

On top of those 20 lost days with no compensation for the loss. We must fill our gas tanks, pay our tolls, or pay for some other from of transportation. With that hour commute you’re vehicle will probably require a fill up once a week. Let’s say it takes 60 dollars a week to fill it up. That’s nearly $3,000 annually just for gas to get to and from work.

That doesn’t include the maintenance, the insurance and your taxes, which is a few thousand more. All of this devoted time and money is for another’s benefit. Sure you benefit in the sense you get a paycheck. But essentially it is you giving up your personal time, money and energy in order to offer your services to another entity in the hopes of getting paid.

What Can We Do About It?

Well we can ask our employer to contribute to all those added cost. We can create a life where we’re able to work from home. We could read and learn new things on our commute, making that time more valuable. And by reading I mean listening to audio books and podcast while driving.

We can take public transportation to and from work and use that time to work on personal growth projects that can one day free us from that daily grind. Get creative with it. Maybe if we all begin to not except it as status quo together, we’ll force those who make money from our hard work to pay us for the time and money it cost us to get to said work.

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The Keto Diet #158.

Keto

I Do In Fact Believe Keto Is One Of The Best Ways To Lose Weight, But We Should Always Counter That With A Question. Is This Even A Healthy Way To Lose? Skinny Does Not Necessarily Mean Optimal Health?

How many different ways can we label this diet of high fats, high protein and low in carbohydrates? Atkins, Keto, Bulletproof, Paleo. Sure I’m over generalizing these diets, they all have there own slight variations and gimmicks but in essence that is the protocol.

They are all similar renditions of the same process. The fact that the last one is literally a reference to the paleolithic man, cavemen, is beside me. Someone had the notion to take the dietary struggles of a caveman. Figured history showed they would not gain fat and only have lean muscle due to there general diet and physical activity. And then deduced this to be the optimal method for weight loss. A diet is so easy even a, well you know the rest of that slogan. Have we ever stopped to think cavemen had an incredibly short life expectancy and didn’t live much past their early to mid thirties. Could that possibly have something to do with diet?

Short Life Expectancy

I’m no dietitian but I think it’s safe to assume. What we put into our bodies can be both the thing that hurts us and causes short life expectancy. Or the thing that helps and heals us and gives us health and vitality late into life. Let food be thy medicine is such a true statement. It could be countered by let food be thy illness creator. The choice is completely up to you.

Optimal Human pH Level.

Science and research show a diet high in animal protein like keto, greatly increases the risk of cancer, heart disease, diabetes you name it. The optimal pH of the human body is slightly alkaline 7.35 to be exact. When we eat animal proteins, beef, poultry, dairy, cheese, you name it, these proteins greatly increase the acidity in our blood lowering our pH which than becomes an optimal breeding ground for disease.

Keto
Photo by Paul Hermann on Unsplash

Add to those animal products massive doses of antibiotics (which kills parts of your gut biome when ingested) that these animals need because how they live is another provider of disease. Then contaminate that meat with toxic levels of adrenaline. That’s what is released into there blood stream when they reach the slaughter house. And you have a recipe for disaster.

The Biggest Loser.

Yet we judge everything by outside beauty not realizing till it’s too late, that we rot from the inside out. The exterior is the last to show signs. Bob Harper of NBC’s biggest loser was the model of health and fitness. And he went into cardiac arrest at 50 and had to be shocked back to life. Upon further inspection they found heredity gave him too much lipoproteins in his blood stream. Did you hear that? Too much proteins.

I don’t know his specific diet at the time. I’m willing to bet it was very high in animal proteins. Similar to keto protocol. Which probably only exacerbated his levels of proteins, lowering his blood pH and causing heart palpitations till it one day it misfired. I’m no doctor but you can see these patterns throughout the healthcare system. Bob is a great example but many who strive for the perfect physique don’t always get so lucky. They are struck down by hidden illnesses they couldn’t see coming.

The China Study.

There was a 30 year study done by the senior health official in China (read The China Study). One of the most extensive in history. Where they documented every Chinese citizens health and diet every year. It was on a massive scale. And what they found was as those communities introduced more animal proteins into there diet. The instances of heart disease and cancer grew exponentially. Upon further study. They found those proteins actively turn on cancer cursors. When meat was removed from the diet those precursors subsided.

Standard American Diet.

As our Standard American Diet (S.A.D.) grows in popularity around the world so does the health care juggernaut. Sadly we partake in this diet more than any other because of cost and convenience and flavor enhancements that entice our brains to want more of it. It is by far the most detrimental to health. Keto is far superior than this diet but still misses the mark on optimal health.

Ideal Nutrition.

In an ideal situation we would get most, if not all, of our nutrients from living foods. Raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Do not fear the carbohydrates of fruits they are good for you. However in our current environment this is by far the hardest to stick to but we could all benefit by taking baby steps towards introducing it into our diet more and more. Your body will thank you and will reward you with pain free, disease free longevity.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.

Believing Toothpaste To Be Harmless #157.

Toothpaste

Pop Quiz. What Is The Household Item That We Willingly Put In Our Mouths Twice A Day That Has A Warning To Call Poison Control If Ingested On It?

One more hint in case you missed it. Children often accidentally swallow and ingest it. Still haven’t guessed it? Well it is your beloved toothpaste. That trusty tube filled with a tasty froathy mint flavored treat, that we unwittingly clean our teeth haplessly with everyday. Yes, that very same tube with it’s chemical contents is consider poisonous.

It is literally printed right on the side of it. Right there on the box and the tube the warning states. If you swallow more then used for brushing seek professional help or contact poison control immediately. And what is the recommended dosage? Its a pea size amount, in order to limit exposure.

Why would we put something so detrimental to our health in such close proximity to our mouths. Not just close but actually in our mouths. To add to the issues most children don’t have the capabilities to spit properly in order to fully remove that apparent toxic waste from there mouths. Providing a consistent onslaught of daily ingestion.

What Is The Answer?

Well you could buy toothpaste without all the chemicals and florides or use baking soda. The American dental association might disagree with this approach. But if they do, we have to question what do they have to gain by requiring us to put something classified as poison into our mouths.

Secondly too much exposure to fluoride causes fluorosis which is a chronic condition caused by excessive intake of fluorine compounds, marked by mottling of the teeth and if severe, calcification of the ligaments. Mottling of teeth, is that not insane? The very thing used to clean your teeth is the same thing that can destroy them.

Yet we brush on in our ignorant bliss. Believing this action couldn’t possibly do any harm. I believe we should question the items we use everyday, especially that of which we put into our mouths.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read our post. If you like what you read, or even if you don’t, we would love to hear from you. Please join our email list here. Or if you want to comment on this article, or write your own in our Forum. Please sign in here and if you are new to the site you can register here. This website is not intended to be a blog. We want it to be a place to help others grow and learn from mistakes and the Forum is where that begins. Please tell us your stories.